How do we know if we are being sensitive to every remark that comes our way? Do we take every comment towards us negatively? Are we influenced by what is going on around us and in effect react the same way as others? Is there an underlying cause for us being sensitive to what people say to us? What about our experiences? Is that a basis for our reactions? And if we are sensitive to every sentence that we hear about ourselves, does that mean we do it to others too?
These are questions I have been asking myself for the past two days because of what happened a few days ago to me. I would not dive into details to protect those who will read this that were with me during that time. Just a concise version. Just a generic version.
There was a comment made about me in one of the discussions I had with people in my community. It was very subtle. It was mentioned to others but I overheard it. The reason I heard it and made an impression on me is that it is nowhere related to the topic we were discussing during that time. It came out of the blue. I chose to ignore it. However, another comment was made about me, again out of the blue, which again, entirely not connected to the another topic we were planning on.
I went home after that but the day after, I remembered it and asked myself what was the purpose of those remarks. Have I done anything wrong to trigger those comments? Where did it even come from? Am I just being sensitive and it could mean nothing that I am just making a fuzz about it?
This led me to think of the questions at the beginning of this blog. In summary, I am just thinking about my reaction and what led to it. Not why the person made those comments but why it made me feel this way.
Maybe I treasure my relationship with the person that made me think of what have I done wrong. Maybe it is because that person made some previous remarks to another person whose feelings were hurt. Maybe I did the same thing to another person and I know in myself that I used to say things just to let out what I felt about the person.
I have no answer so far. But I believe that whatever our reactions now is a result of the culmination of our experiences. I believe that we are innately and programmed to survive so we get wary when similar events happen in our lives. We get defensive. We automatically go into self preservation. We protect ourselves.
We may become sensitive just because of our desire to live, to exist. Any attacks towards us are met with enough reaction, but sometimes, we are over-sensitive and overreact to situations that could not mean anything.
So, now, I keep pondering this. I encourage you also to think about your reaction when you encounter such situations. There is a saying, “It is not you. It is me” which is a cliche used when breaking up but there is really some truth to that.
It is just me. It is not you.
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