KEY POINTS
> The search for life’s purpose has been a topic discussed in many writings since ancient times.
> What we do now such as our work, procreating and simply being there for someone may not be our life’s purpose.
> Our purpose in life can be found by determining what we enjoy doing and what can we create for others.
> The definition of life’s purpose and meaning can be what we were meant to create for the benefit of others.
Looking for purpose
We are all looking for purpose. We are all searching for the meaning of life. Many articles, blogs, books, podcasts, etc. have tackled this topic. Searching for life’s purpose has been an idea that has been in our heads, especially during the days when we want to make sense of it all.
I read this blog on WordPress by K E Garland entitled Turning 50: Doing What You Want. It got me thinking about life because of the following she mentioned in her blog.
We were not born to toil for employers; we were not born to be in committed relationships, where we constantly acquiesce to someone else’s needs; we were not put here to procreate and then be at our children’s beck and call.
The points she mentioned – not born to toil for employers, constantly acquiesce to someones’s needs, procreate and be at at our children’s beck – resonated to me so much because I feel there is more to life than what we had seen while we were growing up.
This is also apparent in how the generation now is living their lives. Before, it was about survival. Our grandparents lived in an era in which they must work to live. Two generations later, the perspective has changed. We are now looking for quality of life. It is not about surviving anymore. It is about living a comfortable life. Moreover, the shift is happening once more. It is not just about comfortability. It is now finding meaning. Fulfillment. Purpose.
So, I would like to explore this because, like what K E Garland had mentioned in her blogs, I come to realize one question about living – what is it that I would like to do for the rest of my life?
What we do now
Before we discuss finding our purpose, I would like to dissect first the three points mentioned above as I think most of us have been living through it and believing that we live for these.
Working for a company. When we got out of school, or even for those who did not, we went to work to earn. Earning makes us capable of supporting ourselves and those we love. We are able to buy food, a good home, and enjoy some comfort in life. Working is beneficial for us as it enables us to live. It is not so different from being an employee or the owner of the company. To some extent, everyone works to earn. However, when we take our careers to define who we are, we end up struggling. Some may be in their profession because of a bigger purpose like doctors who are really aimed at helping people get healthy even without recompense. The thing is, most of us have been using almost all of our waking hours just to work. Come to think of it. Nothing is wrong with that. We find purpose in doing our work. The question now is it something we want to do until our last breath? What is something you would want to do for the rest of your life?
Be there for someone. It is not that bad. Being able to help someone is a good thing. As Adam Grant wrote in his book Give and Take, people who are givers and are always helping are more successful in the long run compared to those who are takers (aim to get more than what they give) and marchers (aim to equally give what they can take). However, he also had studies that show that while giving is good, it should also not be at the expense of oneself. When giving with sacrificing self-interest, givers tend to be treated as doormats and taken advantage of. Now, that is not the way to live. Our purpose can not be like a battery that is drained and thrown away. It can not be the purpose of life. Because if that is so, how could we become an effective resource for everyone? Being there for someone all the time may not be our calling.
Children’s beck and all. I know someone who is a workaholic. She and her husband had long decided to not have children. Either it was a result of not getting any results from trying or something else, I could not be sure. They decided to be great aunt and uncles to their nieces and nephews instead. But for us who have kids, some may consider that our life purpose is to provide for them. Our sense of being a parent was to ensure that our offsprings grow as good people. We provide what they need so that we can enable them to do what they want in life. But after they mature and turned into adults, they will have the life of their own. They will discover life and search for their own meaning. Parents like us will not be in the picture most of the time. So, for those who say that their purpose is their children, is procreating and taking care of the future generation enough to be life’s meaning? After that, what is next?
From the three items above, the argument is we do not simply exist for someone. Working for someone is not the meaning of life. Working is a means to live and not the meaning. Being there for someone whenever they call is not the purpose of life. Thriving, surviving and living just to be someone’s superhero is not the way to live. This also extends to procreating and being there when your son or daughter calls. Procreating and living a life for the sole purpose of giving our offspring a better future is not also the goal in life.
Hold on. Seems tragic. Seems too negative. Aren’t we supposed to help each other? Shouldn’t we be living to make the world a better place? What is wrong with that?
How to find our purpose in life
There is more to our existence. We all strive to make sense of our lives. We are all looking for that purpose and meaning. Is surviving all there is to it? Does giving glory and worshipping God (for those who believe) is the purpose of our small lives? What could we do to find it?
Here is what I think, and I am trying to make this simple. I could relate to what K E Garland mentioned in her blog.
I think it revolves around two questions:
- What is it that I would like to do for the rest of my life?
- What is it that I create for the benefit of others?
The way I see it, it is not about enjoying the luxuries in life nor it it is about the pleasures. These are only meant for us to enjoy the fruits of our labor but not necessarily the purpose of it. We are all looking forward to retiring and for some, enjoy the beach, sit at home with our loved ones, or traveling the world. If that is it, then the concept of YOLO is justified.
For me, answering the two questions will help us figure out what is our purpose. The definition of life can be taken from the answers to these questions.
Be able to do it forever. Is your career something you can do until your last breath? Is sitting on a beach enjoying the sunset won’t get you bored? Would taking care of your kids be something you would like to do even if they have their own families and are far away from you be something you would be able to do forever? I think wondering about this thought question may help us understand what is our purpose.
Creating. I have a strong belief that the meaning of life is to create. Everything in nature produces. From the trees to the massive ocean, it produces something for the benefit of other living things. If one is unable to produce anymore, then it starts dying. Of course, factors are in play for a thing in nature not being able to create, however, I would say that it is its only purpose – to create. The opposite is to consume and I view consuming as a means to survive. So the way we eat and enjoy the pleasures in life is a means to survive. But it is not the purpose. This is why, I think, those who are always on vacation or love to shop or binge-watch movies and shows, are not truly happy. There is no sense of fulfillment.
Life definition is to give life
Creating something that we enjoy doing for a long period of time for others to use is what I think sums up the purpose of life. The very definition of life is producing something, whatever it may be, so that others may live.
I would think that each cell in our body consumes to produce something that other cells can use. The trees consume nutrients from the soil to grow and creates oxygen and fruits for all living things to use. The ocean is a vast contributor to the air we have all around us, unbeknownst to us all.
I think we need to find that for ourselves. We need to figure out what to create. We need to do away with aiming for pleasure as it is just a by-product of our work. What we need to figure out and start doing is that thing that we want to create and be able to do it forever.
This could help us find our purpose.
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