I read a post somewhere about what is the purpose of saying a bad thing about another person. What does it serve? Who does it help? Is it even the truth?
When I read this, it got me thinking about things we say about one another at work. At first, we may think that it is harmless. That we are just letting out some steam especially when we do not like the person.
But, it could harm others without us knowing it.
“Waste of time. We always exceed the allotted time for this meeting because of these recaps in between.”, Jim said to his boss in a chat. He was talking about the one speaking during that meeting who always repeats what the previous person said.
“Hahaha. And we have not discussed the two critical items yet. We are just discussing where the project is now.”, replied Mac.
Jim and his boss have been working together for about 10 years. Most of their conversation is about work, strategies and goals. But, sometimes, simple chats like this slips through. They have a habit of suddenly talking about people they do not like so much.
The Slippery Slope of “Just Venting”
At work, we often speak about others when they’re not around. Sometimes it’s frustration. Sometimes it’s gossip disguised as concern. And sometimes, it’s just a moment of weakness—a snide remark, a sarcastic jab, a passive-aggressive comment that slips out when we think no one’s really listening.
We rationalize it. I don’t like that person anyway.
They deserve it.
It’s not like I’m saying it to their face.
But here’s the thing: words don’t vanish. They echo. They shape perceptions. They travel in ways we don’t anticipate. And even if the person we’re talking about never hears them directly, someone else does. Someone who might carry that impression forward. Someone who might treat that person differently because of what we said.
Truth vs. Impact
One of the most dangerous assumptions we make is that if something is “true,” it’s okay to say. But truth isn’t a free pass. Accuracy doesn’t absolve us from responsibility. The question isn’t just is it true?—it’s is it helpful?
Is it necessary?
Is it kind?
Criticism, even when valid, can be weaponized. And when it’s shared without context, compassion, or purpose, it becomes less about truth and more about ego. A way to elevate ourselves by diminishing someone else.
The Invisible Harm
What we say about others—especially in professional settings—can quietly erode trust. It can create divisions, foster resentment, and poison team culture. And often, the damage is invisible. The person being talked about may never know why they’re being excluded, why their ideas are dismissed, why they feel isolated.
We don’t always see the ripple effect. But it’s there.
A Better Way Forward
This isn’t a call for silence. It’s a call for intention.
If you’re frustrated with someone, address it directly and respectfully.
If you need to vent, choose someone who will help you process, not amplify.
If you’re tempted to speak ill of someone, pause and ask: What am I trying to achieve?
Because in the end, our words are not just reflections of our thoughts—they’re instruments of influence. And in a world already saturated with noise, choosing to speak with integrity is a quiet act of leadership.
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