Ever wonder if your boss is testing you by the way he or she asks a question? For example, when you just got off a meeting where your boss asks for something to be sent to him or her by a certain deadline, and then a couple of minutes later (or maybe the day after), will ask you what was the thing he or she is expecting to receive?
Well, maybe I am just assuming but given the boss’ skillset and place in the organization, I do not think he or she would really ask as if he or she forgot it. In my experience, yeah. This is a test.
Why do bosses become skeptical of their own team? Just like in the Netflix series “3 Body Problem” (originally a book), when in one scene, the head of the project asks Auggie (one of the lead scientist in the series) was asked to double check Raj’s (the military man) work. And during the same scene, the same boss asked Raj to triple check Auggie’s work.
Is this about trust? Is it about the leaders observation on how a person in the team works therefore leading to tests and checks?
Well, for one, I personally do not appreciate it. The more I feel like I am not trusted, the more I do not care and push to get the trust. Doesn’t matter. Once trust is broken, it is near impossible to get back. It will require a long time, a change in personality, in behavior, and building good relationship. If I don’t find it worthy to spend much time doing this, I just don’t care.
But, let me tell you something…I lead people too. And this trick is not in my sleeves. I don’t test and check my team. I trust them based on what they show me. Then, I make my moves based on that. For example, I had this person in my team before that does not deliver when there are no clear dates when to deliver. We are all guilty of this. Don’t be a hypocrite. So, instead of constantly doing tests or checks, I just gave the person a deadline that he or she can commit to. And voila, work done!
As me reporting to someone, especially when I am asked by the highest ranking person in the company, I react based on the situation. One time, this person created a chat with me with another person. The other person responded to him almost immediately to all his/her questions. So, I just read it. Didn’t participate in the conversation. Then, the highest ranking person chatted me separately asking if I am seeing the chats in the other room. I said yes and told him/her that I opted not to respond since the other person is already providing answers to the questions. I think he/she was pissed. Or he/she just does not have high EQ. That’s okay.
For me, it is good to build relationship at work. It makes the work easier to do when you enjoy the company of people you work with. But it is also good to always remember that it is just work. And as long as the work we are paid for are being completed, then it is okay.
Leaders should not test or check their teams in a way that is like trying to find some fault. Like an entrapment. It is not a very good practice. What does that even say about ourselves? That we are so perfect and we know people make mistakes and we should get that out in the open? Make the person realize that we are the boss and they should be scared of us if we caught a mistake? (Well, maybe it is me just thinking about that)
Give clear communication. Do not be condescending. This phrase, “That’s what I am saying…” is very condescending. What’s the point of saying that? That you are right, finally the other person understood, and the other person was wrong from the beginning? What made you so perfect in this world? Yeah?
No side comments. Just focus on what needs to be done, the output, how, any specific format if you have any (but I doubt since most of the time you do not even know what you want to see), and when it is needed. Just that.
Then shut up.
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