There was an old man that I spoke to about what he did to live a long life. One of the things he said was he avoids conflict as much as he can. He stayed away from arguments. He saw it as cumbersome and might endanger his family. So, what he said is if he can make the adjustments, if he can compromise, he would do so. As much as he could, he stayed away from any fights.
I keep remembering what this old man said to me because of this situation that is bothering me. I am not going to say the details here to protect the identities of those involved and for those who know me, it would be easy to guess who is involved.
Anyway, this situation that I am in at the time I write this is something that is bothering me. At times, I think of confronting the person who I think is doing me wrong. I picture in my head walking to their house, knocking on the gate, and talking to him/her to find a better solution for something that it would not affect me or my family.
I imagine what could happen. It could go either way. He or she could get mad. He or she could understand my concern and do something about it. The situation could escalate and instead of a peaceful situation, it could result in a feeling of uneasiness. Or, it could become better, and a relationship could be created between him/her and I.
But, I refuse to do anything. This is for a couple of reasons. One, I keep thinking that the situation I am in is not that much of an inconvenience. I could work around it and still get what I need. So, talking to him or her is not necessary. Two, the old man keeps popping in my head which made me think. Is it really true that avoiding conflict can lead to a better and longer life? How about if you are holding some grudge inside? Wouldn’t the negative feeling kill me early than what I would want to? I could take his word for it. I wouldn’t know till the end.
The third, and maybe this is the real reason, I am just afraid. Maybe I am a coward. I fear confrontation. What if I am wrong? How could I resolve the situation? What if he or she gets mad? What will happen next? How could it affect my family? Will someone back me up? Or will I be alone in the fight?
Is it even worth the time? Is it even worth the effort? Maybe. Maybe not. How about my peace of mind? Since it keeps bothering me, would it be better to confront the person? Or, not confront but talk and explain my dilemma. Maybe the person is not aware. Maybe he or she just needs to know and we can go from there. Which is what bothers me also. What could happen after?
A lot of questions right? And probably, you might be thinking that I am over thinking this and I am a coward. That could not be far from the truth. I hate arguments. I hate confrontations. I don’t like fights. I feel it would just result to bad relationships and worse situation than ever. I do not want that.
And I think it is for the best. What could a fight result in? What good could it bring? There is always a peaceful way. I think if we could find a way without resulting in confrontation and staying away from trouble, we could all have a better life. Although, there may be some times when we need to fight but I think if there is a way to avoid it as much as possible, we should do so.
In a universe where entropy is the universal truth, the peaceful way we deal with things to bring back order is the best way to live our lives. Call it cowardice. I think there is more strength and courage when dealing with things peacefully