Didn’t like your experience with your previous boss which made you leave? Or worse, you got terminated because of your differences? And until now, you have been carrying that grievance in your chest which made you contact your former boss and send a message saying you’ve made it. You’ve made it not because of his help but because of the bad things he had done to you.
So, if you are in a great position now in your career journey, what is the purpose of getting back to your old boss and sending a message that seems emotionally loaded with accusation, triumph, and somewhat fake gratitude? Does that make you feel better?
Does it make you feel you are better than him?
“Just wanted to say thanks.
You shoved me off the edge when I least expected it. It felt like betrayal—cold and calculated.
But that fall forced me to learn how to fly. The early days were brutal, but I found my rhythm. Now I earn four times what I used to make when I was working with you.
So yes, thank you—for the selfishness, the treachery, and the leadership that taught me exactly what I never want to become. If not for that, I’d still be stuck under you.
Cheers ✌️”
This is a recreation of a message sent by a former employee to his former boss. Don’t take it out of context and don’t take it word for word because that is not the exact message. I recreated it to discuss my point in this blog – burning bridges.
In every industry, the circle of people is very small. Who we work with now maybe someone who worked with others we previously worked with and did not get along with. We do not know if we will encounter the same people in our careers. If we have bad relationship with some, then it might be difficult to get to where we want to be.
Two things happened in that message – the events that led to that message and the effect of those events to the person who sent it.
For the sake of simplicity, let’s call the person who sent that message Harry and the one who received it Sam.
According to Harry, he was betrayed at work. Whatever happened is left to be done told in the words of those who were there so, let’s not dwell on the specific. But what is clear is that this is the event that led to the burning of the bridge.
Whatever happened between Harry and Sam caused their relationship to be destroyed. For sure, they will not work together again. And for sure, if anyone asks them of feedback about each other, they will not recommend. The connection is lost. The bridge destroyed. They will not be in good terms anymore. Or maybe time will tell. We’ll never know.
At work, we either build good or bad relationships with one another. Our actions or the words we say either solidify that relationship break it. It has been said that building our network is good for us to advance in our careers and respective industries. However, we can’t avoid things like this. It will happen, one way or another. For me, the only way to prevent that bridge from burning is not to escalate the issue.
There is no need for that message to be sent. Harry doesn’t need to say that to Sam anymore. What’s the purpose? To say that Harry has become better than Sam? Or to tell Sam his wrongdoings towards Harry? Or something else happened that Harry can’t hold himself back.
Whatever the case may be, the need is not there. It just created friction between the two. An unnecessary friction as this is work. Nothing is personal. Vengeance begets vengeance. War only result to death. Nothing can be achieve from revenge, or doing something that makes you feel you are better than someone else.
Just become better than who you were yesterday.
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