Our internal motivation is said to be our reason. Our whys. But maybe, it is just simply because of what we want.
Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.
Rumi
I saw this post on Facebook about knowing that things will be difficult but worth it. It has a ring in it for me as I feel sometimes life is difficult but when I look back, those events in my life did not last forever. Overcoming them also was rewarding in the end. The benefit that I had received made the experience worthwhile.
However, that is already looking back. Without reaching the end, there is no way for me to know that whatever I was doing at the time could bring me joy and happiness. Knowing the worth is retrospective. Even if I had known the benefits before while I was going through the challenges, the feeling of worthiness will always be at the end.
It is also easy to say that to keep moving forward, we have to remember our whys. We have to keep in mind our reasons for doing what we must do. It is easy to talk about it when in fact, each moment is a test of our willpower and discipline in continuing what we do. Reminding ourselves during the times we want to give up may work but, what could really helps us push forward?
Are our intents enough? Will the reasons that we keep reminding ourselves of be the energy that we need to propel us forward? Or, is there something else, something doable, that could keep our wheels turning and travel far?
The philosophy behind the want
I had a conversation with a colleague about why do we want certain things in life. We talked about the real reason behind the wants we have and what is really pushing us to do the stuff that we do.
Surprisingly, and arguably maybe, the reason we do what we do and strive for what we want does not stem from a deeper why. It does not come from a strong desire to find meaning or be fulfilled. And somewhat, based on what she told me, it looks like a paradox.
She said that we do what we want because we just want to. There is no deeper meaning to it. She proved it by an exercise of asking ourselves repeatedly the whys. For example, aiming for a promotion may mean our reason is to climb the ladder. If we keep asking ourselves why (why do we want to climb the ladder?), it will end up to an answer that we just want to. Below is a sample:
- Why do you want to climb the corporate ladder? – because I want to earn more.
- Why do you want to earn more? – so I could support my family
- Why do you want to support your family? – because I love them
- Why do you love them? – because they are my family and they are important to me
- Why are they important to you? – because they have been with me and supported me
- Why do you want to support them? – because I want to
This is just a short sample but it could go on and on and, according to her, it is only a matter of time until you answer the why of want. That, as she argued, when you ran out of reasons, it all ends up to wanting to do it. It becomes a paradox, a loop, when you ask again the reason why you want to which is when the reasoning starts again. This in turn becomes that we just make up the reasons to justify doing what we want or our reasons are really triggering us to do what we want.
That being said, if this is true, then could be doing what we want in spite of the challenges, obstacles, and difficulties, be the power behind us pushing through? And are the benefits at the end of the road is just a by-product of what we did and not really the aim?
Staying motivated when things get tough
We have all been looking for the easy way to overcome challenges. Various tips and tricks and life hacks circulate the internet providing insights on how to win over struggles. We all look for helpful quotes and advice that will help us to be motivated when everything seems to fall apart.
With the vast information available, some speak of the same things. To get through challenging times and stay motivated, we need to keep reminding ourselves of the why. That there is light at the end of the tunnel. That it will soon pass and the gold is at the end of the rainbow.
These may be helpful for some but not for everyone. The fact that we are wired to be efficient will always drive us to look for the easy way. Our survival instinct will always tell us to make things simple instead of doing complex things that make it hard for ourselves.
Based on my conversation with my colleague, I am more inclined to believe that our desire, not the reason, will keep us motivated to push forward. Wanting to do things is enough battery for us to give us the energy to stay motivated and achieve our goals.
Look at your work now, or what you do every day, are those the things you want to do? No reason. Just desire. Do you want to do it? If the answer is no, then it becomes toxic as you need to keep pushing yourself to do something you do not like. The motivation coming from the reason is superficial that eventually be gone because you are just forcing yourself to do it while your inner self tells you not to.
You may argue that there are things we must do even if we do not want to because we have to. True. But then, when we ask ourselves the repeated whys on the this, it will still end up with the simple desire that we want to do it.
What you want motivates you
As I close this, I would tell you that there comes a point in my life that I was aiming for something. We all do. And during the time I was taking the necessary actions to achieve it, I stopped because I felt like not doing it anymore. You may think that I am a quitter or I avoid difficult challenges. Maybe there is a truth in that but there is also a time in that it became so difficult and yet, I still did it. Why? No reason. I just want to.
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