Narcissist or Humble | Boasting About Your Work

Narcissist or humble. Let your work speak for you, they say. People will notice eventually. While some say to advertise your work – network, market, and make others know it – we can still be proud. Up to what point?

In the book “Leadership BS: Fixing Workplaces and Careers One Truth at a Time” by Jeffrey Pfeffer, he talks about some of the common qualities that we learn from reading leadership books, seminars, or podcasts that are, in real-world settings, not 100% helpful in traversing our everyday work.

One of those is being modest. As a leader, any achievements we have are a result of the collective work of the people we lead. It is not the leader who was successful but the team that worked to produce results. In effect, the leader cannot claim success.

He said that is what the leadership books, seminars, or podcasts tell us. He made an argument that successful leaders and organizations are doing otherwise.

A leader that takes pride in his work, pushes the team to do what he wants, claims it as his, and makes the people in the organization know about it are the ones that are successful in achieving goals and climbing up the corporate ladder faster than anyone else.

That is true as I have seen this happen.

Or even not being in a leadership position, just being part of a team, being quiet about what you have accomplished against making it known to everyone, or just even your boss, could impact our progress in our career. We could end up stuck in our levels and wonder what we could have done differently to get promoted.

Though, the other side of it, when you boast about your work, there is a tendency that others will take it negatively. Just thinking of yourself and your own could hurt relationships along the way and in the end, if you get that promotion, no one would be willing to follow you.

In my experience, I attributed my promotion to the work that I did and to those who had led me to it. I had that desire to keep moving and my leaders gave me their hands to pull me up. And I have not been a person advertising what I achieved but every day, I just focused on what needs to be done.

And being a leader, I do not have an accomplishment that I can say my own. Almost all of the work being done every day is done by my team. All of this work brought us to the stability we are looking for. No fire fighting. Just anticipate where that fire might come from and prevent it.

In summary, I think that a leader should continue being humble. Without the people around him, that is willing to follow his vision, and think with him to find creative solutions, what could the leader accomplish?

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In the vast theater of life, we find ourselves playing dual roles: the narcissist and the humble. These personas, like opposing masks, shape our interactions, aspirations, and self-perception. But where lies the equilibrium? How much self-promotion is too much, and when does humility veer into self-effacement?

The Narcissist: Spotlight and Shadows

1. The Siren Call of Self-Promotion:
   • The narcissist thrives in the spotlight. They dance on the edge of self-obsession, their every move orchestrated for maximum visibility.
   • Social media platforms become their amphitheater—a place to flaunt achievements, curated lifestyles, and carefully filtered moments. Metrics—likes, followers, comments—fuel their ego.
2. The Art of Bragging:
   • The narcissist masters the art of self-aggrandizement. They weave narratives that elevate their accomplishments, often embellishing reality.
   • Their conversations echo with “I” and “me,” and they relish recounting triumphs, no matter how trivial.
3. The Perils of Vanity:
   • Yet, vanity has its pitfalls. The narcissist risks alienating others. Their relentless self-focus can drown out empathy, leaving relationships shallow.
   • Beneath the glittering facade lies fragility—the fear that without constant validation, they are insignificant.

The Humble: Shadows and Starlight

1. The Quiet Strength of Humility:
   • The humble walk a different path. They believe in letting their work speak for them, allowing deeds to resonate louder than words.
   • Their accomplishments are like hidden gems—unassuming yet precious.
2. The Power of Authenticity:
   • The humble don’t seek applause; they seek impact. Their actions ripple through lives, leaving lasting impressions.
   • They deflect praise, attributing success to teamwork, luck, or circumstance. Their humility is magnetic.
3. The Dangers of Diminishment:
   • But humility can morph into self-diminishment. The humble risk downplaying their worth, fading into the background.
   • Their reluctance to self-promote may hinder opportunities. After all, if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound?

The Harmonious Blend: A Symphony of Authenticity

1. Know Your Audience:
   • Self-promotion needn’t be a megaphone; it can be a whisper. Tailor your message to the context and the ears that listen.
   • The narcissist can learn from the humble: sometimes, silence speaks louder than grand proclamations.
2. Celebrate Quietly, Shine Brightly:
   • Celebrate victories, but not at the expense of others. The humble light candles rather than fireworks.
   • Share your journey—the struggles, the breakthroughs. Vulnerability connects hearts.
3. Authenticity as the North Star:
   • Let authenticity guide you. Be proud of your work, but also acknowledge its collaborative roots.
   • Remember, the stars don’t shout—they simply shine.

The Final Curtain Call

So, up to what point? Perhaps the answer lies in balance. Be a narcissist when your passion demands it, and a humble observer when grace beckons. Let your work be your legacy, etched in deeds and whispered stories. And when the curtain falls, may it rise again—a testament to both your light and your shadows.

In addition and final words, I’ve noticed in Japanese culture, well based on what I see in the movies, while honor is a big thing for them, they do not brag about who they are or what they have accomplished. This is the entire opposite of what Western culture is depicting in the movies that bragging and making people know of your accomplishments will get you places. Maybe it is time to follow the virtues of the East?