The biggest disrespect of all is being late. When there is an agreed time for two people to meet, or a group of people to gather, for whatever reasons, arriving late disrespects the other person. Why? For the simple reason that time is precious for everyone that once it has passed, no one can take it back. Losing time from waiting for someone to start a certain activity is like taking a piece of that person and dumping it into nothing.
Now, we may think that there are various reasons for people to be late. Who we are to judge. Everyone encounters the same problem every now and then. A problem at home that needs to be attended to. Traffic jams that we really can not get out from. Or simply waking up late because of long hours at work we put in the previous night, or partying. But, does this happen everyday? Does this all nuances in life happen every single time in our life?
Well, we might say that it does. There are people that are so challenged in life that they are having difficulties getting out of these mishaps. As much as they want to, they can’t seem to find a way out and just learned to live with it. They learned to accept it and take it one day at a time. But let’s take that out from the discussion. Let’s just focus on those who are chronic late.
Habitually Late
I have encountered two people who are habitually late. These people have no real reason. They just are chronically late. They arrive at least 15 minutes or the most 30 minutes late after the agreed time. There are no reason. Just a simple apology. Sometimes, there is no apology at all. It is what it is.
So I started observing them. During the time I was checking up on one of them on their whereabouts, the person lied. This person said that he/she is on his/her way. About 5 minutes away from the agreed place to meet. However, that was not true. Multiple instances of being late and observing by asking the person, and understanding where this person is coming from, showed that it was a lie. The 5 minutes away is actually 30 minutes away. Which means, assuming where this person was coming from, had left his or her house 5 minutes before the agreed time to meet. Why even do that knowing it will take him or her about 45 minutes to get to the agreed place? This person did not provide any reason. Just said an empty sorry. That’s it.
The other person, and thanks to the power of technology, we called on video. Waiting for this person multiple times, we discovered that on the time we agreed to meet, that is the time this person prepares. Takes shower, get dressed. Happened multiple times. Why even do that?
Time is a valuable thing. That’s a cliche. But it is true. We value our own time. Which means those who are habitually late are also thinking of their own time. What about other people’s time? Have they ever thought of how others value their own time too? If we consider that time is important for us, it should be the same for others. In a nutshell, if someone is not giving importance to what we value, it becomes disrespectful.
We all have things to do on our own. We all have things happening in our own lives. That is why when we need to collaborate with other people, it is important to agree first with the when. When will it be and how long will it be. This way, we know how much of our precious time will be used so we could allocate that portion of our life and make adjustments on the rest.
And if other people are late, then we lose that time for ourselves waiting and shortening the time we could have used to accomplish a certain tasks. A quick example of setting up a practice for a performance that is agreed to start, let’s say at 8:00 PM and to end at 10:00 PM. If other people arrived at 8:30 PM, we already lose 30 minutes of that time. Why do people do this?
Value other people’s time
If we value our own time, we should be thinking other people’s time too. Considering how important our time is, it must be important to other people too. Now, if we view this as we only value our own time and not others’, it only means that we do not care. It only means that we can be forgiven and other people will understand. Isn’t that being selfish? By thinking only of ourselves and not others?
I hope that we get to realize this that time is valuable for everyone. No one can not get it back. We have a finite amount of it. We can do whatever we want with it which is why we choose to do what is important to us. And in that note, if we are habitually late, it just means that we are not giving any importance to other people. Whatever the reason may be, it just means that we prioritize something else. And if that is more important than the people we are meeting with, then maybe it is okay. Just keep in mind that that only means we do not value them as much as what we chose to do in that moment.
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