commitment Archives - MY EXPERIENCE | MY EXPERTISE
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MY EXPERIENCE | MY EXPERTISE

Tag: commitment

  • Lie | Right or Wrong For Me or You

    Lie | Right or Wrong For Me or You

    Lie. Is it right or wrong? I met this person once and he said that as long as they are happy, he is not doing anything wrong. He also said that as long as the other person doesn’t know, he is not lying. What you don’t know won’t hurt you, right? Or is it?

    This guy is notorious for cheating on his wife. From the very first time I met him, I had heard stories about him. I had seen him in action. He flirts. I saw him coming to work early and going home late just to do his stuff. And all of these he hid from his wife. Well, eventually, it was discovered but that didn’t stop him. He still has been doing it.

    The pretend story

    He was very secretive. But he is proud of his affairs. He even brought flowers to the office to give to his mistress. He even says goodbye to us saying they are leaving. One time, he bought another of her so-called girlfriend a cabinet. I think he is somehow telling her that they can live their own life.

    But who is he really lying to? The people around him or himself? How does living a double life work? I imagine being a different person between being away at work and being with his family.

    Telling an entirely different story from the truth or intentionally holding back something is lying. You have to create a story that will flawlessly tie things up when you get asked. It requires so much effort, time and money just to keep the lie going.

    Truth can set you free. Cliche? Yes, but being free is all about doing what you need and want to do. Whatever you want to do, with truth with it, you can move freely, tell your stories as is, and never think of anything else.

    Right or wrong

    He said that what is right for him can be wrong for me and vice versa. What is right for me can be wrong for him. Well, if the world goes like that, how do we proceed as human beings. He said that his wife is happy. He keeps her happy by not telling her the truth. By lying, he protects her from the pain he is causing her. That is what is right for him. Of course, you will totally disagree. That is totally wrong.

    Though it made me think about what he said between right and wrong. We all have our conceive notion of what is what. This is our own belief. We value this and we live our lives through this dogma. However, if we come to think of it, if we all have our own perception and understanding what is right and wrong, there will always be conflicts. Which, as a matter of fact, there is. So then again, he may be right at that point. We are left to our own devices.

    However, that does not justify lying. Concealing the truth, telling a different story, or even keeping some truth is still lying. In his case, his being unfaithful because he enjoys the feeling of being wanted by someone else lifts up his ego and pride. Thinking that he can get whoever gives him so much confidence even though it hurts his family.

    It’s super important to dig into the nitty-gritty of human behavior and psychology to really get why people do the things they do. The mix of feelings, ego, and wanting validation can push folks to make choices that have a big impact on themselves and everyone around them. Wanting to feel wanted and valued can be a huge driving force, leading to decisions that might not line up with what society expects or what we believe in.

    These actions have a massive impact on relationships and families. The fallout from cheating affects everyone involved, causing a lot of emotional pain, breaking trust, and damaging family bonds in a big way. The clash between personal desires and family duties brings up some serious ethical and moral questions, showing how tricky it is to balance our own happiness with the well-being of our loved ones.

    As we navigate the complexity of human relationships and moral challenges, it’s crucial to remember that every person has value, while also realizing the weight of our choices and how they affect others. Getting to the root of these behaviors gives us a chance to reflect, empathize, and understand, ultimately guiding us toward growth, kindness, and making ethical decisions.

    Admitting or Stopping Requires Courage

    Be honest to yourself. Admit what you want and go for it. You’ll hurt people. Yes. But, what is it that you truly want? If you don’t go for it and keep doing it behind people’s backs that you end up hurting them, who are you kidding? To the guy, I’ve mentioned above, he needs to figure out what he wants between being a father and a husband and someone who can’t let go of his younger years when sex is the only thing that matters.

    The aftermath of lying is a total mess. It’s not just about fessing up and stopping the lies; it’s about dealing with all the fallout. The urge to just forget the truth and move on, even though it hurts like crazy, creates a deep crack that’s hard to fix. This crack leads to doubts that mess with every future decision and action, making it hard to trust yourself. Lying messes up the foundation of trust in relationships, so rebuilding it feels like climbing a mountain. The leftovers of the lie stick around, constantly reminding you of the broken trust and how fragile the truth can be.

    It’s super important to think about how our actions affect others. Before making decisions, take some time to really think about what it all means. By making sure our actions are honest, we keep things real with the people around us. This kind of thinking goes beyond just us and helps create a community that’s all about being truthful and taking responsibility. When we really think about our choices, we make a place where truth and being genuine are what really matters.

  • What is your priority?

    What is your priority?

    The key is to schedule your priority and stick to it.

    Most of the time, we tend to juggle multiple things at the same time. May it be in our personal lives or careers, simultaneous things happen around us. We struggle with what to do first and we tend to do the easier ones or the ones that recently come our way.

    What I’ve learned in my career and in my personal life is that we can only do so much. We can’t do everything. We need to prioritize. And that’s easier said than done. Prioritize. You’ll hear this often from your boss when you start missing deadlines. The real question is not how you prioritize but what is your priority.

    How do you strike a balance between your priorities?

    What is your priority? Knowing that would help you attend to things in your life first. For example, we keep saying that our family is our priority. Well, is it really?

    When you are in a virtual meeting at home and your daughter approaches you and asks to be carried to her bed, what do you do? Do you brush her off or excuse yourself from the meeting? How about having lunch with your family and suddenly your boss calls you or texts you, do you answer right there and then or spend that time with your loved ones?

    When you are done identifying your priority, that’s the only time you can move to how to prioritize and it all boils down to scheduling. In the current virtual world where almost everyone is online, scheduling plays a vital role as your commitments to different people must be attended to without any conflicts.

    If you have scheduled that lunch with your family, just do that. Nothing else. If you are working on your shift, do that. Nothing else. With the list of things you need to do, schedule which ones must be done first and do just that. Nothing else.

    Commit to it

    I’ve seen people mixing things up. Some would be working by replying to emails or texts while spending time with families. Some would not be able to start working on time because they wanted to spend more time with their loved ones. This is okay. If this is your priority, go live your life. Be happy. But keep in mind, we all have commitments to other people, and if that is not met at the time they are expecting it, then we are just telling and showing them that they are not our priorities.

    Prioritization: The Art of Choosing Wisely

    In our fast-paced lives, it’s common to feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of tasks and responsibilities we face. Whether it’s work-related projects, family obligations, or personal goals, we often find ourselves juggling multiple things simultaneously. So, how do we navigate this complex landscape and make informed choices?

    Identify Your True Priorities

    Take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you. Is it your family, career, health, personal growth, or something else? Knowing your priorities is the first step. Consider how each of these areas contributes to your overall well-being and happiness. For instance, if family is your priority, consider how you allocate your time when faced with conflicting demands and make conscious decisions that align with your values and long-term goals.

      The Virtual Meeting Dilemma

      Imagine you’re in a virtual meeting at home, and your daughter asks to be carried to her bed. What do you do? Prioritizing means recognizing that family comes first. Excuse yourself from the meeting briefly to attend to your child. Your colleagues will understand.

        Scheduled Commitments

        Scheduling plays a crucial role in managing priorities. When you allocate time for specific tasks, stick to that commitment. If you’ve scheduled lunch with your family, focus solely on that. If it’s work time, dedicate yourself to work without distractions.

          Avoid Mixing Tasks

          Resist the temptation to multitask excessively. While it’s okay to handle minor tasks simultaneously, avoid major conflicts. For example, don’t reply to work emails during family time. Similarly, don’t let personal matters interfere with work deadlines.

            Communication Matters

            Communicate your priorities to those around you. Let your family know when you’re in work mode and vice versa. When you commit to something, honor it. Consistency builds trust and shows that you value others’ time.

            Mindset Shift

            Embrace the mindset that you can’t do everything. Accept your limitations and focus on what truly matters. Remember, saying “no” to certain tasks or requests is essential for maintaining balance.

                  In summary, prioritize consciously, commit fully, and communicate transparently. By doing so, you’ll align your actions with your true priorities and build stronger relationships both at work and in your personal life.

                  Mastering prioritization is akin to navigating a bustling marketplace. Imagine yourself at a vibrant bazaar, surrounded by colorful stalls, each selling a different commodity. Your time, energy, and focus are your currency, and the choices you make determine the quality of your life’s tapestry.

                  Identifying Priorities: The Compass of Purpose

                  Before diving into prioritization techniques, pause and recalibrate your compass. What truly matters to you? Consider your life’s overarching themes—the grand tapestry you’re weaving. Is it family, career, health, creativity, or personal growth? Acknowledge that priorities evolve; what mattered yesterday may not hold the same weight today. Be honest with yourself, for self-awareness is the cornerstone of effective prioritization.

                  The Art of Prioritization: Unpacking the Toolbox

                  Now, let’s unpack the toolbox of prioritization techniques:

                  • The Eisenhower Matrix: Imagine General Dwight D. Eisenhower, juggling wartime decisions. He categorized tasks into four quadrants:
                    • Urgent and Important: These are your non-negotiables—the deadlines, crises, and health emergencies. Handle them promptly.
                    • Important but Not Urgent: Here lies the fertile ground for growth. Long-term projects, relationship-building, and skill development reside here. Allocate time consistently.
                    • Urgent but Not Important: Beware the deceptive sirens of busyness. Emails, notifications, and minor fires clamor for attention. Delegate or minimize these distractions.
                    • Neither Urgent nor Important: The Bermuda Triangle of wasted time. Avoid it. Say no graciously to invitations that don’t align with your priorities.
                  • The MoSCoW Method: Inspired by Moscow’s rapid transformations, this method categorizes tasks:
                    • Must-Have: Non-negotiable essentials.
                    • Should-Have: Important but flexible.
                    • Could-Have: Desirable, but not critical.
                    • Won’t-Have (for now): Discard or defer.
                  • The 2-Minute Rule: If a task takes less than two minutes, do it immediately. Clear the mental clutter swiftly.

                  Effective Scheduling: The Dance of Commitments

                  Scheduling is our choreography—a dance of commitments. Here’s how to waltz gracefully:

                  • Digital Calendars: Your partner in time management. Block out chunks for focused work, meetings, and self-care. Color-code for clarity.
                  • Buffer Zones: Life’s traffic jams are inevitable. Create buffer zones—time cushions—for unexpected delays.
                  • Say No with Grace: Politely decline invitations that don’t align with your priorities. Remember, every ‘yes’ is a ‘no’ to something else.
                  • Batching: Group similar tasks. Respond to emails in batches, tackle creative work during your peak hours, and batch errands.

                  Remember, prioritization isn’t about rigid rules; it’s a symphony of choices. Be agile, adjusting as life’s tempo changes. And as you weave your tapestry, balance ambition with humility. The grandest masterpieces emerge from deliberate strokes, not frantic scribbles.

                1. When you realize your “NO” is powerful

                  When you realize your “NO” is powerful

                  Have you tried saying NO to things that life throws at you that you do not like? Or are you still saying YES because you have no choice?

                  When I started working for a call center, I had no idea what I was getting into. All I know is that I have to get a job because I have a family to support. It was almost a year from my graduation rites and I was still looking for work.

                  So, just armed with knowing how to speak English and the knowledge that I’ll be talking to customers, I took my chances in one of the pioneers of call centers in the Philippines.

                  As I stepped into the call center, the buzzing atmosphere and the constant sound of ringing phones were overwhelming. Despite the initial challenges and the uncertainty of what lay ahead, I was determined to give my best. Gradually, I became more adept at handling customer inquiries, resolving issues, and developing my communication skills. The experience taught me resilience and the value of perseverance during tough times. I realized that this job not only provided for my family but also helped me grow both personally and professionally. Each day brought new experiences and opportunities for growth, and I am grateful for the lessons I learned during my time at the call center.

                  And from then on, I had progressed my career from an agent to becoming a workforce management professional who, for those who do not know, is the one who determines how many people do we need to hire, keep, and/or let go. As a workforce management professional, I have been responsible for forecasting staffing needs, creating schedules, monitoring attendance, and adjusting staffing levels as necessary to meet service level and budget targets. This role requires a deep understanding of the business’s operations, the ability to analyze data and workforce trends, and the skill to make strategic decisions that impact the organization’s performance and the employees’ well-being. It’s a challenging yet rewarding position that plays a crucial role in the success of an organization.

                  As of this moment, my entire career is all about saying YES. Following what my supervisor told me. Doing things that the manager was asking me to. Acting differently to manage the perception of others. And so on.

                  Eventually, this created a very stressful situation for me. Listening to what other people say and changing. Doing things to their liking. Being the person people expect you to be. These are just some that took a toll in me.

                  It’s unfortunate when we find ourselves in situations where we feel compelled to constantly say yes and conform to the expectations of others. This pattern can be draining and may lead to feelings of disconnection from our true desires and ambitions. It’s essential to find a way to assert our own needs and aspirations while maintaining professionalism and cooperation in the workplace.

                  One approach is to practice assertiveness, which involves expressing our thoughts and needs in a direct and respectful manner. By communicating openly with supervisors and managers, it’s possible to establish boundaries and express our perspectives on tasks and projects. Additionally, seeking opportunities for personal and professional development can empower us to take control of our career path and pursue roles and tasks that align with our genuine interests and strengths. Remember, it’s not about always saying no, but about finding a balance that honors both our own ambitions and the needs of the organization.

                  Before you get those eyebrows crossed because of what you read and say that it is my fault for being such a person, I ask you first to look back on your career up to now and think of the times when you were the one in control of the work in accordance with what you want. I bet there are just very few and little moments or even, you can not remember anything at all.

                  https://www.andrewthorpking.com

                  Now, what I am trying to say here is the moment you say NO (well, not disrespectful to your boss) to things around you (not just work) and only say YES to things and everyone that matters to you, personally, you will have a more peaceful life enjoying doing things that you put value on.

                  The essence of learning to say “no” without being disrespectful and embracing the power of “yes” towards the things and people that truly matter in both personal and professional spheres is a fundamental principle of leading a more fulfilling and peaceful life. When you prioritize your commitments and responsibilities based on personal values and significance, you create a life characterized by genuine happiness and contentment. It allows you to invest your time and energy in endeavors that resonate with your beliefs and aspirations, fostering a sense of purpose and fulfillment. This approach enables you to savor every moment and activity, knowing that they align with your authentic desires and contribute positively to your overall well-being.

                  There comes a point in our lives that we all have to make a realization of what is important for us. What are the things we consider that will bring impact to our lives and to those people around us are the things we value. Thus, when we get to this point, we can honestly say NO to things that we do not care about and only say YES to everything we want. This transition signifies a moment of clarity, a shift in perspective that allows us to discern between the essential and the superfluous. It’s the moment when we realize the power we hold to prioritize our own happiness and well-being, as well as the positive influence we can have on the lives of others. Saying NO to the unnecessary enables us to focus our energy on endeavors that truly resonate with our aspirations and values, empowering us to wholeheartedly embrace the opportunities and experiences that align with our authentic desires. By consciously choosing to prioritize our passions and the things that truly matter, we shape a life that is rich in meaning and fulfillment, resonating authenticity and purpose in every aspect. This intentional approach to decision-making becomes a catalyst for personal growth and genuine connections, fostering a sense of contentment and empowerment that permeates every facet of our being.

                  Let me rephrase it a little. It is saying NO to those that you think will not bring you closer to your goals and only saying yes to those that will. We are still all different so my NOs will be different from your NOs.