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MY EXPERIENCE | MY EXPERTISE

Tag: help

  • Who do you ask for advice?

    Who do you ask for advice?

    Who do you ask for advice? Is it someone you trust? Is it someone who has relevant experience? Or is it from someone you just like?

    Last year, I asked my former manager for advice. I was torn between a job that has stability and an opportunity that has risks. I usually go to him for career advice. From changing companies to how to deal with people.

    There are other people that I seek advice too for other matters like how to deal with my boss or what do they think I should do on a personal matter. Sometimes, I don’t listen to these people because they don’t have experience. It is a way for me to see the other side of things.

    When you can’t decide and sometimes have doubts, it is helpful to voice it out with someone to clear your thinking and decide. Talking to someone will help you hear what you are thinking and sometimes, the answer to your doubts and questions is already in front of you.

    I know a person, who I just started working with, who does not exhibit any kind of action to seek help or advice. This person always decides on his/her own and there are times that he/she makes mistakes. Well, talk about learning from incorrect decisions. But, it doesn’t hurt to seek advice and help.

    Reflect upon it

    Why do we ask for advice? Is it because we want to be assured of the decision we are about to make? To hear positive things about it and see a bright sun on the horizon? Well, the people I asked don’t give me that. They always tell me the risks. From there, I make my own decision.

    Who do you ask for advice? Try doing what I do. Seek from those you think will be on your side and from those who won’t. This will give you a wider perspective on things and weigh your options better. Then, decide on your own.

    Decide for yourself

    We meet different types of people and they have walked different lives compared to ours. It would be good to know their thoughts on things because it will remove the doubts that you have about your decision. But keep in mind, the people who give you advice are not to blame for whatever outcome your decision may lead to. It is yours and yours alone. So tread carefully.

    Why do we ask for advice, and from whom do we seek it? These are questions that have puzzled many throughout history. Seeking advice is often an attempt to gain assurance for the decisions we are about to make. We hope to hear positive affirmations and envision a bright future ahead. However, the people we seek advice from might not always give us the reassurance we seek. Instead, they may present us with the potential risks and challenges associated with our choices.

    Reflecting on this, I realize that the individuals I turn to for advice seldom provide me with unequivocal affirmations. They consistently highlight the potential risks involved in my decisions. However, this approach has its merits. By presenting me with the potential downsides, they allow me to make more informed decisions based on a comprehensive understanding of the situation. Armed with this knowledge, I am better equipped to make choices that align with my values and goals.

    In seeking advice, I have learned to approach a diverse array of sources. I seek counsel from those I believe will support my perspective, as well as from those who may challenge it. By doing so, I gain a multifaceted view of the situation and can weigh my options more effectively. Ultimately, however, the decision-making rests with me. I consider the varied perspectives offered to me, but the responsibility for the outcome of my decisions lies solely with me.

    As I navigate through different stages of life and encounter individuals with unique experiences and insights, I find value in seeking their thoughts and perspectives. Engaging with diverse viewpoints helps alleviate the doubts that may cloud my decision-making process. It’s essential to recognize that while advice can lend clarity and insight, the individuals offering it are not accountable for the consequences of the decisions made. Ultimately, the path we choose rests in our hands, and we must tread carefully as we make our decisions.

    Seeking advice is a fundamental part of the human experience, carrying with it a rich tapestry of motivations and outcomes. The act of seeking advice is deeply rooted in our innate desire for reassurance and affirmation as we navigate the complexities of life. Yet, the sources from which we seek counsel wield a profound influence on our decision-making processes.

    Throughout history, individuals have grappled with the enigma of seeking advice, pondering the reasons behind this intrinsic human behavior. It is often our aspiration to receive positive affirmations and optimistic visions of the future that leads us to seek advice. However, the reality of solicited counsel may not always align with our expectations. Those we turn to for guidance may present us with a stark portrayal of the potential risks and challenges associated with our contemplated choices, challenging our preconceived notions and ideals.

    Reflecting on my own experiences, I realize that the individuals I have sought advice from have rarely offered unequivocal affirmations. Instead, they have consistently emphasized the potential downsides of my considered decisions. While initially disconcerting, I have come to recognize the inherent value in this approach. By presenting me with a comprehensive understanding of the situation, including its associated risks, these individuals have empowered me to make informed decisions that resonate with my values and aspirations.

    In my journey of seeking advice, I have learned to diversify the sources from which I seek counsel. It is crucial to engage with those who uphold my perspective, as well as those who challenge it. This multifaceted approach enables me to gain a comprehensive view of the situation, facilitating a more effective assessment of my options. However, it is imperative to acknowledge that the onus of decision-making ultimately lies with me. While I consider the multitude of perspectives offered, the responsibility for the outcomes of my decisions rests solely on my shoulders.

    As I traverse the myriad stages of life and encounter individuals with diverse experiences and insights, I find immense value in seeking their thoughts and perspectives. Engaging with a spectrum of viewpoints serves to alleviate the doubts that may shroud my decision-making process, leading to a more lucid understanding of the choices before me. It is essential to recognize that while advice can certainly provide clarity and illumination, the individuals offering it bear no accountability for the consequences of the decisions made. Ultimately, the path we choose rests in our hands, and we must approach our decisions with steadfast deliberation and prudence.

  • HELP

    HELP

    Asking for help is sometimes a difficult task for us to do. But knowing when we need it and seeking for it may help us to become better.

    The time I wrote this, we just had our strategic planning for our fiscal year of 2023. It is the first time in 6 months that I met every leader involved in our project. People came from different backgrounds. There were those who worked abroad for at least 2 years and some for 10 years. They have seen what the world can offer and know that the team can do more because everything is possible.

    There are some who are just starting their careers as leaders and brought with them tremendous expertise in their fields. They are analytical and data-driven in their approach.

    There are some who changed from one career to another and had brought consolidated experience and knowledge with them to bring the project to a success.

    Not to mention that we all came from different places and our own native cultures. The way we speak. The way we see things. Some are very fluent and very articulate. Some immediately command the room with just mere presence. And some are quiet and introverted.

    We also had beauty queens as a bonus.

    One of the things that came up in one of our activities is that someone wished he or she knew more about the project. Another one has a very great idea for a solution to an existing problem that he or she cannot do by him/herself.

    So what’s preventing the solution from becoming a realization? It is being quiet. Being silent. Keeping it for him/herself.

    Why is that? Maybe the person is afraid to ask questions for fear of being judged. Maybe that person does not know who to ask and just wishes everything will be fine. Or maybe his or her direct manager did not listen.

    Whatever the reason is, the strategic planning session we had connected us to the rest of the leadership team whom we only knew by email or chat or virtual calls and by what they needed, what we needed, and when we needed it. The session helped us realize that we have a big team coming from different walks of life, expertise, and corners of the world who we could ask for help.

    Yes. Ask for help. It is not something to be embarrassed about. Asking for help won’t make us incompetent. It would actually be the reverse. We can do more greater things by seeking help.

    When I was a Real Time Analyst and creating an automated report, I learned that asking for help could accomplish more. There was a line of code that I was struggling and being young back then, I wanted to own the project I was doing and do everything on my own. But that roadblock really prevented me from completing the project. My co-RTA then, who is now an Assistant Vice President for one major bank in the US that has operations in the Philippines, saw me having issues. He immediately offered his help. I was reluctant at first but I want to finish the project so I let him help. And voila! A simply added syntax made the automation work! From then on, I always ask him for help and I get to learn new things.

    Someone I know had not been responding to an email that got escalated after the fourth follow-up. The email lasted for 3 weeks unanswered. I asked the person what happened and the reply I got is, “I don’t know how to reply so I put it off. “ I told the person to ask me next time as I could help and provide guidance.

    We all live on the same planet. We are more interconnected now compared to before the fall of the Berlin Wall and without the internet. We can talk to anyone we haven’t met. We have arguments with people we don’t know. We make friends with those who has the same interests as ours from the other side of the globe.

    If you are struggling, ask for help. You can ask anyone. The first person you’ll talk to might not be the one that can help you but, eventually, you’ll find that person that can hold your hand and get you up.

    When faced with challenges, don’t hesitate to seek help. Reach out to anyone you can. The first person you talk to might not be the one who can assist you, but eventually, you’ll find someone who can guide you and lift you up. Remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to admit when you need assistance, and it’s a step toward growth and progress. Embrace the support available to you, and trust that there are people willing to lend a helping hand.

    Imagine a vast network of interconnected souls—a safety net woven from empathy, compassion, and shared experiences. Each thread represents someone willing to extend their hand, to guide you through the maze. It could be a friend, a family member, a mentor, or even a stranger who becomes an unexpected ally.

    Consider the courage it takes to say, ‘I need help.’ It’s akin to stepping onto a bridge suspended over uncertainty. Beneath that bridge flows the river of vulnerability, and as you cross, you discover that vulnerability is not weakness—it’s strength in its purest form. It’s the raw honesty that binds us together, allowing us to lift each other up.

    So, when life’s challenges cast shadows, remember this: You are not alone. Seek out those who can share their light. Be open to receiving, for in receiving, you also give others permission to lean on you when their own paths grow dim.

    Embrace the mosaic of support—each piece unique, yet essential. And trust that, eventually, you’ll find the person who holds the missing fragment, completing your picture of resilience and hope.

    Asking for help isn’t merely about lightening your load; it’s about expanding your capacity. It’s acknowledging that collective wisdom surpasses individual understanding. When you lean on others, you tap into a reservoir of shared experiences—a wellspring of resilience that quenches your thirst for growth.

    Don’t take it all by yourself. Ask for help. By doing so, you become better than you were yesterday.