| deserving

Do we really think we deserve more than what we receive in exchange for our efforts? Are we overvaluing our work even if it is what is expected?

“I just want to understand what I did to get this raise so I could correct it,” Janice said. She was having a virtual meeting with Jim trying to get a sense of the small raise and bonus she received in December.

“Why are you asking?” Jim probed. He was at home that day same with Janice. They had been working from home since the pandemic started.

“I want to know because I know I did everything I was told to do and I should be getting more than this.” Janice replied.

“What other things have you done to make you think you should be getting more?” Jim asked.

“I did what I was told. I do not make mistakes. Why would others get more than I did?” Janice said. While she tried to control the tone of her voice, there is a slight irritation in her from Jim’s repeated questioning. She is not getting the answer she wanted.

“Did you ask how much others get?” Jim asked. Although he knew it would happen and believes nothing is wrong with that, which is still, up to this point, asking for someone’s compensation is not a welcomed idea, he still probed so he could better give an appropriate response. He did not want Janice to escalate to HR if it comes to that.

“Well, at first, I was happy with my increase. But then, I thought of asking and learned that in comparison, I was the one who received the lowest increase. Those who made a lot of mistakes and did not complete their tasks got more. Way more than what I got.” Janice responded.

To this, Jim slightly got irritated. She had been comparing her performance with others and had always been spotting their errors. While that was good to make the team better, she did not do anything to help them correct their ways. Her actions were meant to call out the errors and it ends there. They talked about this before but nothing changed.

Jim took a long breath and slowly exhaled before responding.

“Janice, I am going to tell you the truth about business. And from this point on, I will impart something to you so please listen.” Jim waited for Janice to respond yes before continuing.

“First, we all should be grateful for what we received. No matter how much it is. Others did not get anything and they are okay with it. They look at the good side of it that they still have their jobs.”

“It is not that…” Janice started.

“Listen.” Jim cut her off. “Just listen for now.”

Jim stayed silent for a few seconds. They had their cameras off so they can not see each other’s facial expressions. A wall built by working remotely.

He continued,”Be grateful. That’s one.”

“Second, do not compare yourself to others, ever. They have their own lives. You have your own. I bet that if you get a higher increase than them, you will still ask around.”

“No. It is not…”Janice started again but Jim interrupted her.

“Janice. Listen. This is the third time I said it. I am trying to impart to you something but you are not listening.”

Janice shut up. She just stayed silent. Jim had no way of knowing if she was really intended on listening this time but he pushed on.

“The company has a total budget allocated for any annual increase in compensation and bonuses. It is then distributed according to the performance and value each of us brings to the company. Now, when you said you are doing what you are told, that is the bare minimum. That is expected from you. If you did not do that, you would not get anything.”

Janice kept silent this time.

“You have to start looking forward. What do you need to do to get more? Is that even your priority? How will that affect your desire to start a family? Is it all about money or is it about helping others achieve their own goals?

“Because, Janice, if you are trying to aim to get more money just for the sake of it so you can buy what you want to buy, then you are aiming for the wrong things. Money helps us achieve what we want to achieve. It is a tool. It is not the goal.

“Do not go after it. Focus on what you want to do. And the money will eventually come. Not today. Not tomorrow. But eventually, it will.”

Jin stopped and waited for Janice to respond.

“Thank you, Jim. I still am not clear but I’ll try to remember what you said. Maybe I will understand it someday.”

“Alright. I have to drop off now for another call. Ping me if you want to talk some more.”

“Will do. Thanks again.” Then, they both disconnected.

---

A few days had passed. Weeks, months, and years. Jim had never gotten a chance to talk to Janice again. Janice moved to a different account. Jim moved to a different company. They lost touch. What happened after that conversation, no one knows.

But Jim remembers that conversation well. He thought if he gave the right advice. Was telling her to be grateful and just wait the right move? Or was it something he just said to shut her up and stop complaining about what she got? Isn’t it about getting what she deserves for the work she has done? Wasn’t that the essence of working?

Maybe he thought of giving that advice because he himself never asked for anything. He just focused on the work that was required. He was thankful for all that was given to him – the recognition, the bonuses, the awards, the promotion. He was told that he deserved it. But then again, aiming for it was never his playbook.

Whatever comes his way is a byproduct of the work he has done.

Deserving is just another word for entitlement.