Lala Bop is a form of cyberbullying where people with multiple partners are mocked on social media. How do we prevent it?
It has been over a year since my son was accused of cyberbullying in school. He was part of a chatroom that made fun of their professor by making mock images of him. On top of that, a nude version of their classmates was created and circulated in that same chatroom too.
There were multiple meetings with the executive vice president, teachers, and, at the last meeting, the school’s legal counsel. The discussion revolved around what happened and establishing that there was indeed a cyberbullying incident. It was also mentioned that the students who were accused of such can file a counter-complaint which to me, seems a means to get revenge. In the end, it was agreed that all parties would render community service.
I was reminded of this event when I read the article about the Lala Bop trend on TikTok. The article mentioned the trend and the backlash it is receiving as it is a form of cyberbullying. It is not a surprise because social media connects most of the people in the world. The freedom of speech has been overused. And finding a community where we feel belongingness became harder than it was before.
What is Lala Bop
Before we go into cyberbullying, let me discuss first what Lala Bop is.
Lala Bop is a derogatory slang that refers to someone who has multiple s**ual partners. They are people who are often framed in a negative or judgemental light. They are often mentioned in social media, particularly TikTok, as being h*e or sl*t. It puts into bad limelight those people who never have one partner for long, move on to another, accumulate body count, and casually sleep around.
Now, based on this description, feels like they need a wake-up call right? Feels like they need to be told by many people to stop what they are doing as they seem to be just after the s** and none of any intimate relationship or would be ready for any long commitment.
Well, who are we to judge?
Why would we make fun, call them out in public, give them derogatory names, and be demeaning towards our interaction with them? Who are we to say we are better?
Yeah, you might think. You are not like them thus, makes you better. So? That does not give us any right to judge people on how they live their lives. Sure. We can comment and provide our thoughts. But Lala Bop is offensive. The remarks are not toward the action. It is towards the person. It is cyberbullying.
Cyberbullying vs Traditional bullying
Cyberbullying is not so different from traditional bullying. Both make fun of a person without realizing the negative impact on his or her mental health. The two also have a significant effect on the physical well-being of the person. For traditional, it usually happens with some sort of violence while for cyberbullying, people who become victims resort to harming themselves or worse, su**ide.
I think what makes people start to become a bully is the sense of belongingness. Humans have the innate need to be part of a community. It is a survival instinct as being an outcast means that we need to find our own way to survive. In the old ages, that would be very difficult as the wilderness would always be a dangerous place for those who are alone. Being part of a community has transcended in the internet. We could see this in our desire for likes on our posts and feel bad when we do not have enough of it or a bad comment triggers more people to say bad things.
The Lala Bop is one of the few examples of cyberbullying. If we remove ourselves for just a moment from the internet and place it in the real world, Lala Bop is the same as when we talk about people and shun them. We spread demeaning gossip about their lives and influence others to stay away from them. As if we know what is going on with their lives and have made our judgment that they are bad people.
How to stop cyberbullying on social media
There is no one way or easy way to stop this. We have our opinions. We have our own drives. We have our own experiences. We have our biases. Our need to belong also drives us to participate in such acts.
However, I think, we could start somewhere.
- Think before posting or sharing. A lot of us just go on and post whatever we want on social media without thinking. This is for both what we want to share with the world thinking it is ours so we do not care what people say. None of their business, right? However, you are waiting for the number of likes and views to go up. So, isn’t that contradicting? We should start with being conscious of what we share and ask ourselves, does it bring any value to anyone? Be purposeful.
- Think what would do if you were in their person’s shoes. We usually comment, mostly negative, without any care for the person receiving it. We all think we are not like them and offer our opinions and advice. Our words are even unfiltered and we just say what we want. If we were the other person, have we thought of what will be effect to him or her? Do we even have an ounce of care for someone we do not know? Remember, they are not just profiles on the internet. There is a real human behind those pictures and smiles.
- Be an advocate. After we stop ourselves from sharing non-valuable posts and negative or demeaning comments, we should start sharing good things. There is always a good thing behind everything. It is a scary world. There will always be a bad thing. Our survival instinct will always watch out for those. Given that, we should all start to be nice. Why do we even have to put someone else down? What could we gain from it especially since we do not live their lives? Where is the good in that?
Cyberbullying is not a joke
It is funny, right? The images, the comments, the emoticons, all of it. It is just for fun. Right?
Well, we should know by now that it is not. While we may be having a laugh now and garnering the agreement and nods of the people around us, we have to remember that there is one person who is not laughing.
There is one person whose tears are falling, who feels alone in his or her battle against the world, while we are enjoying a good laugh with other people and think it is harmless as it is just a joke. But it is not.
It is not funny. Always remember that. Before you join any conversation, how will it benefit the other person?
And before you post your own material, why are you even sharing? What is the purpose?
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