what makes us happy Archives - MY EXPERIENCE | MY EXPERTISE
Advertisements

MY EXPERIENCE | MY EXPERTISE

Tag: what makes us happy

  • Does leisure make us happy?

    Does leisure make us happy?

    Does leisure make us happy?

    During weekends, I spend a huge amount of time watching TV. At the time I am writing this, I am hooked on catching up on One Piece, an anime. I am at episode 950 and currently, the show is running at 1050 episodes. Still a lot go.

    And during those moments while watching, after spending so many hours, I feel a little bit weak and bored. Well, what could I expect? Sitting and watching idly may be nice for a few hours, but more than that, I feel I wasted a good amount of time not doing anything. On top of that, I eat a lot, and binge, which affects my goal to be in a calorie deficit.

    I thought of the time I wasted which I could have used writing a novel. That time that I could have spent working on some projects at work. The moments I could have used to play with my kids before they go to bed. The lost opportunity to cuddle with my wife and further strengthen our bond.

    Are we wasting time in leisure activities?

    Watching shows I like is my favorite leisure activity. It takes me away for a moment from the present. It takes me to a world that I could have never imagined. The imagination of those who created the show is one of the things that I admire. The story is not so similar to the mainstream. The dialog and script and the exchanges of smart conversation using words and sentence construction that is new to me are some of the best leisure experiences for me.

    For sure you have your own leisure activity. I could only guess based on what I saw. It could be going to the spa. Going on a joyride on your motorbike feeling the wind on your face. Could be reading a book. Or, I do not know, maybe playing games on your phone.

    Mikhail explained in his book entitled Flow that we experience happiness when the activity we are doing is challenging enough. If it is too easy we get bored and that results in the other end of the spectrum, sadness.

    For example, watching TV is very easy. I just have to keep watching and follow the story. It becomes challenging when a lot of moving pieces are happening and in my head, I have to remember them and connect them so I have a clear view of what is going on, leading me to better appreciate the show and enjoy what I am watching. In effect, it keeps me going and interested.

    Taking another example of leisure activity is playing mobile games. Starting is difficult as we need to understand the concept of the game, the controls, the goals, and what should we do. As we get acclimated, it becomes too easy for us and we breeze through the game. We lose interest and it becomes an activity we do when we do not have anything else. This, in turn, is the reason why games continue to become difficult as you progress, new challenges, new goals, and new competitors, to keep you engaged and continue playing. Because, again, if the activity is challenging enough for you, we feel happy and we keep doing it.

    What is leisure?

    What is leisure anyway? What does it mean? What defines it? How do we know if the activity in our lives is considered leisure or not?

    Leisure is simply activities that we do that are not related to work or responsibilities. It is an activity that we do in our free time. Free time means time we have not allocated for work or to perform our responsibilities at home or to someone else. It is what we do with our time for ourselves.

    By this definition, which is easily searchable on Google, and what Mikhail said about activities that must be challenging enough, we are accountable for our own happiness. It is up to us to choose the activity that we do during our free time and make sure that it is difficult enough for us to enjoy it and bring happiness in our lives.

    It is also worth mentioning that we do not need to listen to what other people say about how we spend our time. Okay, maybe listen a bit because the world is full of pieces of advice, however, ultimately, we hold the key to our happiness.

    If we choose to watch TV during our free time, so be it. That is a choice we make. If we choose to play mobile games, let us go for it. How we use our time is up to us, not anybody else. Of course, there will be repercussions but that is another topic.

    How leisure makes us happy

    So how could leisure make us happy? First, we ensure that we choose an activity we like to do. Again, it is our time. What we do with it is up to us. Choosing is a choice only we are accountable for. Do not let anyone make it for you. It is your life.

    Second, the activity we choose should be gradually becoming difficult for us to continue enjoying it. It must keep challenging us in a way that we use up our current skills and develop them a little bit in order to progress and continue doing what we want to do. If not, then we become stagnant and boredom kicks in. For boredom, we should prevent getting into this state, for me is a little close to sadness.

    I think by doing these two and being conscious about it, we could definitely feel that what we do during our free time could really help us enjoy our lives and become happy.

    And some of you might say that you would rather relax than do something strenuous. Get in a bath while listening to music, lay on the bed while reading, or just have a quiet drink with friends. All of these are good. It is very relaxing and a good reset for a hard day at work. But, ask yourselves, how long are you planning to do it? Does it really give you happiness? For a moment, maybe. But for how long?

    In a nutshell, what we do for leisure is up to us. And to enjoy it more, let us make it a little more challenging. Just a little bit. Not too much. And by the end of it, we could become better than who we were yesterday.

  • Why passion is not a requirement to work

    Why passion is not a requirement to work

    Passion at work is said to be the enthusiasm and the excitement for what you do. It is that feeling that you feel a strong desire to do it. In effect, it spells the difference between doing the task and doing it very well.

    When you are passionate about your work, it becomes more than just a job; it becomes a calling. The enthusiasm and energy you bring to your tasks can be infectious, spreading to those around you and creating a positive and productive work environment. Moreover, passion can drive innovation and excellence, as individuals who are deeply passionate about their work are often willing to go the extra mile to achieve outstanding results.

    Furthermore, passion can fuel perseverance in the face of challenges. When you love what you do, you are more likely to persist in the pursuit of your goals, even when obstacles arise. This resilience can lead to significant personal and professional growth, as well as valuable contributions to the organization.

    Ultimately, passion at work can lead to a sense of fulfillment and purpose, enhancing not only individual performance but also the overall success of the team and the organization as a whole.

    I barely remember something that I read that passion can be pushed or developed. That it is not necessarily that we do what we really like to do because that is our passion. It is doing first so you create passion.

    The concept of developing passion is indeed quite fascinating. It challenges the traditional belief that passion is an inherent, fixed quality, suggesting instead that it can be nurtured and expanded. By engaging in an activity and investing time and effort into it, individuals can gradually develop a strong affection and enthusiasm for it. This approach implies that passion is not solely determined by pre-existing interests, but can be cultivated through deliberate practice and dedication.

    This perspective on passion encourages individuals to explore and immerse themselves in various activities, even those that may not initially spark a strong sense of passion. It emphasizes the role of active engagement and perseverance in cultivating a deep-seated passion over time. As such, it offers a hopeful and empowering outlook, suggesting that individuals have the capacity to shape their own passions through their actions and commitment.

    However, in reality, for most of us, that rarely happens. We do not get to do our passion and get paid for it. There are a lot of musicians, artists, and people suffering at work because either they do what they love to do but suffering financially or are financially stable but stuck in that job they do not love.

    Many individuals find themselves torn between pursuing their passion and ensuring financial stability. It’s a complex balancing act, and often the choice is not straightforward. Making a living from one’s passion is a dream for many, but the journey can be rife with obstacles, uncertainties, and sacrifices. Conversely, being financially stable in a job that doesn’t ignite the soul can lead to feelings of stagnation and unfulfillment. Finding the ideal equilibrium between passion and financial security is a quest that countless individuals embark upon, each grappling with their unique circumstances and aspirations. Ultimately, the pursuit of a harmonious blend of passion and sustenance is a testament to the human spirit’s resilience and capacity for adaptability. It’s a journey fraught with introspection, difficult decisions, and perhaps a leap of faith, but the destination promises a life infused with purpose and fulfillment. So, whether one is grappling with financial hardship while pursuing their passion or feeling trapped in a job devoid of passion, know that the search for equilibrium is a shared pursuit, one that speaks to the universal human desire for a life rich in both meaning and security. Finding a path that aligns with one’s true calling while also ensuring financial well-being is a commendable endeavor that deserves recognition and support. It’s an odyssey that taps into the depths of human determination and innovation, ultimately enriching both the individual and the world at large. As we navigate the intricate tapestry of passion and financial stability, may we find the wisdom, courage, and opportunities needed to carve a fulfilling and sustainable existence, where passion and prosperity intertwine harmoniously, fueling a life of purpose and abundance.

    If we take out the word passion and focus on doing what is needed to create an output with quality that achieves our goals, I think having that passion is unnecessary. By doing so, we focus on the solutions, actions, and results. Anyway, it is always the outcome that is important.

    Passion is often viewed as a crucial element for success, but when we delve deeper into the essence of achievement, it becomes evident that unwavering dedication towards a goal takes precedence. When our energy is directed toward the necessary tasks that lead to high-quality outputs, our focus shifts from mere enthusiasm to disciplined action and problem-solving. Emphasizing the significance of passion may divert attention from the actionable steps that truly drive progress and produce tangible results. In this light, placing an emphasis on the process and the outcomes it generates bears more significance than an abstract concept such as passion. Therefore, it is through our commitment to efficient and effective execution that we truly pave the way for success.

    Understanding our goals and the necessary steps to attain them is indeed crucial. By embracing this approach and taking decisive action, we pave the way towards not only achieving our ambitions but also experiencing a profound sense of happiness and fulfillment. The journey of setting our sights on a target, strategizing to reach it, and ultimately taking consistent action is a testament to the power of determination and the fulfillment it can bring. It’s a valuable perspective that resonates deeply with the human experience, highlighting the significance of intentionality and perseverance in our pursuit of contentment and success.

    So to me, and from what I have been through and learned, if we focus on understanding what we want to achieve, know what we need to do to get it, and just do it, in the end, we’ll feel happy and fulfilled.

  • Challenging enough and not too easy

    Challenging enough and not too easy

    Challenging enough and something that is not too easy is something that Mikhail mentioned in his book that would result in happiness. This is another learning I got from reading Mikhail’s book entitled Flow. He said that there are 8 components to enjoy what we do. I’ll talk about one that is being challenged enough that we do not get bored.

    We enjoy what we are doing if we are challenged enough and it is not too easy. When we exert enough effort to complete a task a little beyond our existing limit, we enjoy what we do. However, if the task is too difficult for us to do, we get stressed out that we eventually feel hate towards what we are doing, or more, to the people and environment around us.

    The concept of challenge and enjoyment intertwines in a delicate balance. Finding the sweet spot between a manageable challenge and an overwhelming obstacle is key to cultivating a sense of fulfillment in our endeavors. It’s a fine line between being engaged and feeling disheartened, and often, this balance can vary for each individual and within different contexts.

    When a challenge aligns closely with our current abilities, it can spark a sense of flow, where our focus is heightened, and we feel a deep sense of enjoyment and immersion in the task at hand. This state of being “in the zone” provides both intrinsic motivation and a fulfilling experience.

    On the other hand, when a task exceeds our current capacities by a large margin, it can lead to feelings of frustration, stress, and ultimately, aversion. The initial spark of challenge transforms into a daunting mountain to climb, leading to a sense of helplessness and negativity towards the activity. This shift can not only impact our relationship with the task itself but also affect our interactions with those around us and the environment in which we operate.

    Understanding our individual thresholds for a challenge and being mindful of the interplay between effort and enjoyment can help us navigate the complexities of engagement and fulfillment in our pursuits. It’s a journey of self-discovery and calibration, where we strive to find that optimal level of challenge that keeps us energized and motivated, leading to a more enriching experience in our endeavors.

    At the other end of the spectrum, if the task is too easy, we get bored. Extremely, if we are doing nothing for a long period of time, we feel depressed and sad. If our work is too easy for us, we may say that we are okay however, that does not last for long and eventually, we get tired of what we are doing and look for something else.

    When tasks are too simplistic, they fail to engage our minds and provide the stimulation we need to feel fulfilled. The absence of challenge can lead to a sense of monotony and dissatisfaction, ultimately resulting in disinterest in the work we are doing. This phenomenon is often described as “treadmill effect,” where we feel like we are doing the same thing over and over again without progress or excitement. As a result, we seek new challenges and opportunities that can reignite our passion and motivation.

    For me, what I had gone through, I can relate to what Mikhail is saying. I was a fast-food service crew in 1999 and looking back, that was a good use of my time. I was working and studying in college then. It was tiring yet, thinking about it, it was not boring, and at the same time, there was enough strain on my body and mind to do the work. I can not remember a day back then when I got bored. I think I enjoyed it.

    The next job I had was during my on-the-job training when I have to call prospective clients to sell them computers. I had a list given to me by my supervisor and all I had to do is make calls and if the client says yes, I’ll pass it on to someone who will close the sale. That was so boring and I was so looking forward for noon to hit so I could end my shift and go to school. That I did not enjoy.

    Most of us are in our jobs right now because we need the money. That is the very reason. And every day, we imagine doing the stuff we really want but can not because we need the money. So we stick it up and continue our day only to come home with a feeling of defeat, tiredness, and a sense of sadness. The effect is we buy things we do not need, we drink more than our bodies can handle and we lash out at other people.

    We find ourselves caught in a cycle of longing for a life that feels out of reach. It’s a deeply frustrating experience, and it can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. The weight of financial pressures can sometimes feel like an insurmountable burden, leaving us feeling trapped in a life that doesn’t align with our true desires.

    Moreover, the impact of this internal struggle often spills over into our external world, leading to impulsive actions and negative behaviors. In an attempt to fill the void created by unfulfilled aspirations, we may seek solace in material possessions or temporary escapes such as excessive drinking. These actions, while momentarily numbing, only serve to perpetuate the cycle of dissatisfaction and inner turmoil.

    Recognizing and acknowledging these emotions is an important first step toward finding a way to break free from this cycle. It’s crucial to seek avenues for fulfillment and explore ways to gradually align our daily lives with our passions and aspirations. While the process may pose its challenges, taking proactive steps toward creating a more purposeful and satisfying life can lead to a sense of empowerment and renewed optimism.

    My key takeaway from this part of the book is if the work we are doing is too difficult for us or even bores us, then it is time to look for something else. Try different work. Maybe that will make us feel something. Maybe it would take us into a state where we are so engaged that we lose the sense of time. And maybe, we’ll enjoy it more than anything else and eventually, find happiness in ourselves.

  • Managing consciousness for optimal experience

    Managing consciousness for optimal experience

    Controlling consciousness to be happy. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi said in his book Flow that within the history of man, efforts have been made to always gain the freedom to gain happiness. Controlling consciousness is easier said than done.

    Intentions are the why we do things. It is different for each and every one. It is our reason for doing things and makes us immersed in what we do. While consciousness helps us to be aware of external stimuli and react to them, intentions give us the reason.

    The concept of intentions is a deeply ingrained aspect of human behavior and motivation. It essentially pertains to the underlying reasons or motivations behind our actions, providing a clear sense of purpose and direction. While consciousness allows us to be aware of external stimuli and react to them, intentions delve deeper into the why behind our actions, effectively shaping our immersion in various activities. It’s fascinating to consider the diversity of intentions among individuals, as they are unique to each person and can significantly influence their choices and behaviors. Understanding our own intentions can lead to a greater sense of self-awareness and personal growth, as it enables us to navigate our lives with clarity and purpose.

    Combining consciousness – being aware and reacting – and intentions – the reason why we do things – could bring us optimal experience. We keep honest about our intentions and block off anything by choosing our reactions to events, we could gain optimal experience and happiness.

    The theme of integrating consciousness and intentions is an intriguing one. By combining our awareness of the world around us with the reasons that drive our actions, we have the potential to cultivate an optimal experience. It’s a fascinating notion that being honest about our intentions and purposefully selecting our reactions to external stimuli could lead to a heightened state of happiness and fulfillment. This idea prompts further reflection on the interconnected nature of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and how they contribute to our overall well-being and perception of the world. It’s a thought-provoking concept that encourages us to consider the impact of our intentions and responses on the quality of our experiences.

    Attention chooses what our consciousness focuses on. It chooses what external stimuli we accept therefore, shuts down anything that we do not consider important. In effect, this creates memories for us, feelings for us, knowledge, and skills, which makes us the person we are.

    The concept of attention and its influence on our consciousness is a topic that has fascinated philosophers, psychologists, and neuroscientists for centuries. The ability of attention to direct our focus towards specific stimuli while filtering out others plays a pivotal role in shaping our perceptions and experiences.

    When attention selects what our consciousness focuses on, it essentially acts as a gatekeeper for our awareness. By selectively choosing which external stimuli to accept and process, it actively shapes the contents of our conscious experience. This dynamic process not only determines the information that enters our awareness but also influences how we perceive and interpret the world around us.

    Moreover, the role of attention extends beyond mere perception; it significantly impacts the formation of memories, the development of emotions, and the acquisition of knowledge and skills. By actively engaging with certain stimuli and disregarding others, attention effectively contributes to the construction of our individual identities and personal narratives.

    In essence, the selective nature of attention yields profound implications for our cognitive, emotional, and behavioral repertoires. This intricate interplay between attention and consciousness highlights the intricate ways in which our mental processes shape the very essence of who we are as individuals.

    The ability to focus attention at will results from controlling consciousness. Being aware, putting focus, keeping true to intentions, and acting in line with it, brings forth that optimal experience.

    However, there are things around us that will disrupt our attention because they take more importance compared to what we are doing. There are nagging thoughts in our heads that make us feel scared, angry, or even sad. And these, however strong our willpower is, take us away from the present moment reducing the enjoyment we experience in what we do.

    Battling those that vie for our attention is a battle for the self. With everything that simultaneously happening around us, we struggle to choose what is important for us and what brings us value. These struggles, if we win them over, at the present moment, take us into a state of flow that we lose the sense of time, we forget the disturbing facts around us, and only what we do during the moment, what we intentionally do, where we put our focus on, brings us a sense of happiness and joy, and eventually fulfillment.

    This battle for attention and focus is an ever-present challenge in our modern lives. The constant bombardment of information, notifications, and demands for our time and energy creates a constant tension within us. In order to navigate this, we must learn to prioritize and discern what truly matters to us. By consciously choosing where to direct our attention, we can enter a state of flow, where our actions align with our values and bring us a deep sense of satisfaction. This ability to focus on the present moment, despite the chaos around us, is a powerful skill that can lead to greater fulfillment and purpose in our lives. It is through this intentional focus and dedication that we can find true happiness and joy, even amidst the distractions and challenges of modern life.

    Giving our full attention to the limits of our concentration on the present moment of doing something just for the purpose of doing it without any ulterior motives gives us that experience of joy which creates an upward loop because it makes us do it again and better the next time resulting to a better version of ourselves.

    In a nutshell, I think knowing what we want to do and eliminating anything that does not help us achieve what we want to accomplish at least in the present moment, will help us put maximum concentration, enjoy life, experience happiness, and as a result, become a better person than who we were yesterday.