personal Archives - MY EXPERIENCE | MY EXPERTISE

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MY EXPERIENCE | MY EXPERTISE

Tag: personal

Listen | To Be Understood, Understand First

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Effective communication isn’t just about talking – it’s about making sure your message comes across loud and clear. It’s all about speaking the language your audience understands, whether it’s through your choice of words or the examples you use.

If you want others to see where you’re coming from, you’ve got to hear them out first. By understanding where they’re coming from, you can find common ground and explain your side of things in a way that makes sense to them.

To really persuade others, you’ve got to be clear and provide evidence to back up your points. Don’t underestimate the power of a good story – it really helps drive the message home. Plus, building trust over time goes a long way in getting people to believe in what you’re saying.

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Hearing differently from what was said

I once had this really tough client, like incredibly difficult. Every time we met, it felt like walking into a battlefield. Our conversations were like being thrown into a fire and getting roasted every single week.

It seemed like everything we said was met with resistance. I guess this client wanted us to think more, but sometimes it just felt like it was an attack to our intelligence. At first, I thought I was learning a lot from the experience, but it turned out to be too much. It was exhausting, stressful, and didn’t feel worth my time.

Dealing with such a challenging client can really take a toll. It’s not just about meeting their demands, but also about the emotional strain it puts on you. Each interaction feels like pushing through quicksand, expending so much energy just to keep going. It’s like an ongoing battle that leaves you mentally and emotionally drained. This kind of impact extends beyond work and starts affecting your personal well-being and outlook on everything.

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From this, the client may really be challenging us to think differently. For me, I am hearing differently. I became jaded and shut my brain from further understanding what the client was saying. As for me, every discussion we had was a waste of time. Maybe I was right. Maybe not. The point is I did not listen anymore to what I heard. Eventually, I was not listened to either.

On a separate note

On a side note, it’s important to find the right balance between learning from tough experiences and taking care of yourself. While it’s good to learn from difficult clients and grow professionally, it’s equally essential to know when a situation is just not healthy. Striking this balance can make all the difference in preserving your mental and emotional strength in the professional world.

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Be humble and accept your flaws

Before you can get people to listen to you, you gotta listen first. First off, you gotta accept that you’re not perfect. You don’t know it all. Even if you’re an expert, you still don’t know everything, right? There’s always something new to learn. So, stay humble. Listen carefully in every conversation, ask questions to really get it, and then sum up what you heard. And hey, no need for a sarcastic tone. If you’re humble enough, your tone will be spot on.

Being okay with your imperfections is super important when you’re trying to communicate well. Knowing that nobody’s perfect and there’s always more to learn makes you open-minded and approachable. This humble attitude not only helps you understand other viewpoints better, but also encourages respectful and real interactions. By genuinely wanting to understand others and avoiding a sarcastic tone, you can create an environment where communication and connections really matter.

So, going into conversations with humility and a real curiosity won’t just help you understand different viewpoints better, but will also help you build real, respectful connections.

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The audience is important

When you’re speaking to a diverse crowd, it’s super important to make sure your message connects with everyone. I recently had this awesome chat with someone who’s all about helping underprivileged kids through a non-profit organization. These kids have grown up without a dad, and they feel this deep sense of longing and emotional pain. The founder of the organization, who went through a similar childhood, really bonded with the kids and motivated them to get more involved in their education.

It’s great to share personal experiences, but you’ve gotta keep it interesting and not just talk about yourself all the time. Nowadays, it’s rare to find people who genuinely care and pay attention to others’ stories. To really get your message across, you’ve got to make it relatable to the people you’re talking to.

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Listen to be heard

The key to good communication is listening. If we’re only focused on getting our own points across, we miss out on connecting with others. Even if we have a powerful message, it won’t mean much if we don’t take the time to understand where others are coming from. It’s not easy to confront our own biases, but it’s so important. Imagine a world in which everyone simply sought to be acknowledged. Without individuals genuinely willing to lend an ear, authentic communication would not be attainable.

In a fast-paced world full of distractions and competing voices, the skill of active listening is becoming increasingly valuable. Active listening involves not only hearing the words being spoken, but also understanding the emotions and intentions behind them. It requires setting aside our own preconceptions and truly immersing ourselves in the speaker’s perspective.

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One of the most powerful aspects of effective communication is feeling understood and validated. When we truly listen to others, we convey respect and empathy, fostering trust and deeper connections. This paves the way for constructive dialogue, mutual understanding, and meaningful relationships.

Developing the capacity for active listening requires self-awareness and continuous effort. It involves recognizing our personal filters, assumptions, and biases that can hinder genuine understanding. By embracing the discomfort of acknowledging these barriers, we open the door to enriched communication and the exchange of diverse viewpoints.

In essence, by prioritizing the art of listening, we contribute to the creation of a more compassionate and harmonious world. Embracing genuine listening as a cornerstone of communication enables us to transcend differences, foster inclusivity, and build bridges of understanding across diverse communities.

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December 18, 2025
Goal in Life | Living For Others or Oneself

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What is the goal in life? To be someone who is relevant? Relevant in a sense that we have a sense of purpose. Without purpose, life has no meaning. It is just living day on day trying to survive. So, why are we trying to survive in the first place?

The whole idea of being relevant in our lives is tied to having a clear purpose. When we’ve got a clear purpose, it’s like having a GPS guiding us through all the ups and downs. It’s that consistent light that shows us the way, especially when times get tough. Without that purpose, life just feels like a drag, like we’re just going through the motions without any real direction. So, it’s super important to figure out and embrace our purpose – that driving force that pushes us forward, even when things get rough.

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Is living for our families the goal?

Having a sense of purpose helps direct our actions towards that. If you are living because of your family, because you provide for them, especially your kids or loved ones, when they grow older and have their own lives, what will be your purpose by then? In this context, I don’t think that being the provider for your family is a real purpose.

For so many of us, it all comes down to family. We hustle to take care of our loved ones, looking out for them and making sure they’re all good. But as our kiddos grow up and start doing their own thing, we’re left wondering what’s next. Is being a provider all there is to life? Or is there something more out there, something that goes beyond just family?

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This kind of thinking often pushes us to search for a deeper meaning, something that goes beyond just taking care of others. It drives us to dig into our own passions, talents, and dreams. Maybe there’s a bigger purpose calling out to us, something that’s tied to our family but also reaches further. It could mean making a difference in the world, chasing after creative projects, or standing up for causes that really matter to us.

In this journey, we might find fulfillment in growing as individuals, expressing ourselves, and making a positive impact on more than just our own family. It’s a trip of self-discovery and growth, a mission to find a balance between our family responsibilities and the dreams that really get us going.

As we think these things over, we start seeing that our purpose is pretty layered. It covers our roles in our families, the ways we contribute to society, and the satisfaction we chase as individuals. Embracing all these different sides lets us pay tribute to the importance of family, while also acknowledging the massive potential we have to leave our mark on the world, both within and beyond our family ties.

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Is it service to others?

I said relevant in the beginning because being relevant to me is being of service to other people. This means that what we want to do is a great help to other people for them to be able to live the lives they want, do what they want, and achieve their purpose. It is a circle.

I reckon true relevance comes from helping others out. It’s when we do selfless stuff that our actions really mean something. By supporting others to reach their goals and make their dreams come true, we become part of a bigger and deeper purpose. Our worth isn’t about what we gather for ourselves, but about the impact we have on the people around us. That’s where we truly find the essence of our influence on the world.

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Every little act of kindness has the power to create a ripple effect that goes way beyond the moment. When we lend a hand, whether it’s with kind words, gestures of support, or actual help, we contribute to a positive energy that can uplift and inspire others.

What’s more, helping others often leads to our own personal growth and fulfillment. It gives us a sense of purpose and connection to the world. When we serve selflessly, we look beyond our own worries and open up to a broader view. This helps us build empathy, compassion, and a deeper understanding of how we’re all connected.

So, having a mindset of serving others and being altruistic doesn’t just make the lives of those we touch better; it enriches our own lives in ways that go beyond money or personal achievements. It shows us the way to a more meaningful existence, where others’ well-being becomes intertwined with our own, and where striving for the greater good becomes a guiding principle in everything we do.

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Is it having a comfortable life?

If all of your actions are directed toward living a better life, then I should ask you to think again. Of course, that is not a bad thing, but what does that achieve? If your definition of a better life is not worrying about where you’ll get your food or the payment for your monthly bills or being able to do on vacations, what does that achieve for you and the people around you?

If you’re only focused on making your own life easier and more comfortable, it’s time to take a step back and think. Sure, having a better life usually means having enough money, a nice place to live, and time for fun. But if that’s all we care about, we’re missing the bigger picture. What kind of mark do we leave on the world? How do our lives make humanity richer?

Life isn’t just about having a good time, even though that’s definitely a nice perk. We need to have a mindset where our passions help others and make the world a better place. The things that bring us joy should also inspire others to reach their full potential and find their purpose.

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Searching for the true goal

Finding your real passion in life can be super tough, especially when you’re dealing with everyday struggles. Start by focusing on the things that make you lose track of time. Those moments when you’re totally absorbed, that’s your brain’s way of showing you what you should be doing with your life.

Discovering your true calling is no walk in the park, especially with all the challenges we face daily. It’s when we’re fully engaged, time flies, and our passion shines through that we catch a glimpse of what our heart truly desires. These are the things that light a fire in our souls and point us towards our deeper purpose.

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Life’s not just about enjoying it, although that’s definitely a sweet bonus. We should aim for doing something we love that also helps others find their purpose.

In the end, the quest for purpose is an ongoing journey. It demands self-reflection, empathy, and a dedication to something bigger than ourselves. By focusing on how our actions can support others, we carve out a path that’s both rewarding and noble. The true value of our lives lies not in our wealth or comfort, but in the impact we have on the people around us.

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November 20, 2025
Why do we give in to our emotions?

Emotions like anger, fear, sadness, and anxiety are some that we feel in our lives. We tend to give in to these feelings and either we make the right decision or the wrong one. We may make people happy or hurt them at the moment or for a long time.

These emotions can have a powerful impact on our decision-making processes, leading us to either make the right choices or veer off course. The influence of these feelings isn’t limited to our own experiences; they can also affect the people around us, shaping their emotional well-being in the moment and potentially leaving a lasting impact on their lives. It’s important to recognize the depth of these emotions and the significant role they play in influencing our actions and interactions with others.

Why do we give in to our emotions? Even the most disciplined person would, at some point in his/her life, let the emotions flow and affect his/her decision thus producing the action that may or may not help anyone.

It’s a complex interplay between our rationality and our emotions. Our emotions are a fundamental part of human nature, influencing our thoughts, behaviors, and decision-making processes. While we strive to make logical and calculated choices, our emotions often have a powerful sway over us, shaping our perceptions and influencing our reactions to various situations. In some cases, allowing our emotions to guide our actions can lead to empathy and understanding, fostering positive connections with others. However, there are also instances where succumbing to our emotions can result in impulsive or irrational behavior, potentially causing harm to ourselves or those around us. Understanding the triggers and manifestations of our emotions is essential in navigating the intricate relationship between rationality and emotionality.

Our emotions are handled by the most primitive part of our brain, known as the amygdala. It developed over time to create a flight or fight response. It’s very purpose is survival. And when our emotions are high, they cloud our judgment and affect our reaction to the situation.

This small but powerful structure developed over millions of years of evolution to create the famous “fight or flight” response to perceived threats. Its very purpose is survival, and it continues to play a key role in our daily lives. When our emotions are high, the amygdala can override our rational thinking and impact our reactions to various situations, often leading us to make decisions based on instinct rather than logic. In these moments, it is crucial to take a step back and allow our more advanced cognitive processes to weigh in, helping us to make informed choices rather than impulsive ones.

Whatever we are feeling is true. That gut feel is true. It resulted from a culmination of our experiences and what we have gathered from our interaction with the world. Whatever we are feeling, may it be fear or anxiety that puts us on our toes or anger that makes us hurt other people, that moment we feel it is real. Follow your heart is what they say. There is truth in that.

Whatever we are feeling is indeed a reflection of our inner reality. Our emotional responses, whether it’s a sense of exhilaration and joy, or trepidation and worry, are deeply rooted in our experiences and the insights we have gained from our interactions with the world around us. Each emotion we experience, whether it’s the unease of anxiety, the surge of anger, or the warmth of love, holds a sense of undeniable truth at the moment we feel it. The notion of “follow your heart” has persisted through time, and it holds a profound truth – our emotions often guide us toward our authentic desires and needs. And while emotions are indeed real and valid, they also offer us an opportunity to explore and understand ourselves on a deeper level.

Channeling your emotions

Emotions help us to survive. It helps us to deal with the ever-chaotic world that we live in. It warns us that something is wrong and we need to do something about it. That is what we need to do. When we feel something, trust it, and do something about it. But, we should be careful with the actions that we take as a result of that. When we let emotions control us, we hurt ourselves and other people. We shouldn’t do that.

Recently, I just said the wrong things to a person because I felt slightly angry about a situation we were in during that moment. I raised my voice and it was very demeaning. The person cried silently. For me, during that time, I got irritated because I got everything planned out and I didn’t want it messed up. In effect, instead of saying calmly what I wanted to say, I raised my voice. I gave in to my emotions without thinking how it would affect her. (If you are reading this, Ne, I’m sorry. I’ll do better.)

Be considerate

Sometimes, even if we are so disciplined and know what to do, we veer away from doing what is right and give in to our emotions. We hurt the people we love. It is never a good outcome.

We hurt the people we love, causing unnecessary pain and sadness. It is never a good outcome when we prioritize our temporary emotions over our long-term relationships. It’s important to remember that while emotions are valid, acting on them impulsively can lead to regrets and damaged connections. Understanding this can help us develop the resilience to navigate difficult emotions without causing harm to those around us.

While we should trust our emotions, don’t let them decide for us. Take a deep breath and channel your logical brain to take action better in the hope that we achieve a solution for a possible problem that our feelings are warning and telling us without hurting anyone.

Taking a moment to pause, taking a deep breath, and allowing our logical mind to come into play can lead to more well-considered actions. By harnessing our rationality alongside our emotions, we can aim to address the concerns raised by our feelings in a constructive manner, striving to find a resolution that not only addresses any potential issues but also minimizes any adverse impact on others.

September 18, 2023
When pride and greed comes

Pride and greed are two human traits that have the word “excess” tied to its meaning. It all boils down to having more than enough – having more than what is needed.

When is enough? What makes us push for more? When do we stop?

You started working to support your family. Spent hours at work. Learned the ropes and all. With each passing day that became months and years, you felt the potential of being the boss. Having your own team. Living a dream. Buying what money can bring. Pushing for more and climbing.

As time went on, your ambitions grew stronger. The daily grind and hard work became the foundation of your journey towards success. The challenges you faced only fueled your determination to carve out your own path, leading to the realization of your potential as a leader. You envisioned creating a team of your own, where you could cultivate a positive working environment and inspire others to reach their full potential. This dream fueled your relentless pursuit of success, driving you to strive for more and reach new heights in your career. The prospect of achieving financial stability and affording the luxuries that come with it motivated you to keep pushing forward, continuously climbing the ladder of success. Each step you took was infused with the unwavering determination to turn your aspirations into a reality, and you were unwavering in your pursuit of your dreams.

When do you stop? When do you say you have enough? When do you feel satisfied? When do it end? When do you rest?

Walter White is the lead character in the series Breaking Bad. He is a chemistry teacher who has cancer and afraid to leave nothing, resorted to cooking meth to save up money that would be enough for their kids college tuition. However, with his greed and ego, he did not stop when he finally earned $700k+. He wanted an empire. By doing so, a lot of people got killed, he lost his family and died in the end.

The slow-burn crime TV show got me hooked because I was holding into the hope that he’ll change his ways and realize that his pride and greed are eating him alive. I was wrong. Only in the finale episode of the show did he do something not for himself. Well, maybe not.

When do we stop? When we think we can get more, we always go for more. I think that is the most basic foundation of the seven deadly sins. All of it are definition of any action that is excess of what is needed. More sex, more desires, more food, more about self, more for self, more hate, and more nothingness.

`When do we stop? When we think we can get more, we always go for more. I think that is the most basic foundation of the seven deadly sins. All of it are definition of any action that is excess of what is needed. More sex, more desires, more food, more about self, more for self, more hate, and more nothingness. In our relentless pursuit of excess, we often lose sight of what is truly important. The insatiable desire for more can lead to a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction and unhappiness. It’s a reminder to pause and reflect on the choices we make, to find contentment in simplicity and gratitude for what we already have. Our actions can be guided by a sense of sufficiency rather than an endless quest for more. Finding balance and moderation in our pursuits can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Let’s ponder on the wisdom of knowing when to stop and embracing sufficiency in all aspects of our lives.

I do not think it is wrong to desire something to make our lives better. To live a comfortable life. To provide better things to our loved ones. However, when we keep aiming for more and more than what we really need, I think that is when greed comes.

I do not think it is wrong to desire something to make our lives better. To live a comfortable life. To provide better things to our loved ones. However, when we keep aiming for more and more than what we really need, I think that is when greed comes.

The desire for improvement is a natural and essential part of the human experience. Wanting to enhance our quality of life and provide for our loved ones is motivated by a sense of responsibility and compassion. Striving for comfort and security is a fundamental aspect of seeking happiness and well-being.

However, as this pursuit intensifies, it can lead to excessive accumulation and consumption. When the quest for more goes beyond fulfilling genuine needs and transitions into a relentless pursuit of excess, it transforms into greed. Greed can cloud our judgment, foster dissatisfaction, and overshadow the value of non-material aspects of life such as relationships, experiences, and personal growth.

Therefore, while it is reasonable to aspire to improve our lives, it is crucial to maintain a balance and perspective, ensuring that our desires remain in harmony with genuine needs and do not give in to insatiable consumerism. Achieving a sense of contentment with what we have can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life, free from the detrimental effects of unchecked greed.

Instead of being grateful that we have a working phone in our hands, we desire the one others are using. Instead of spending real time with the people we want to spend time with, we desire to go to places that we see on our feeds. Instead of being content with what we have, we look for something else.

Instead of being grateful that we have a working phone in our hands, we desire the one others are using. Instead of spending real time with the people we want to spend time with, we desire to go to places that we see on our feeds. Instead of being content with what we have, we look for something else.

In today’s society, it’s common for individuals to overlook the value of what they already possess. Oftentimes, the constant exposure to what others have or experience through social media and other platforms can create a sense of inadequacy or discontentment with our own lives. Instead of appreciating the convenience of having a functional phone, we may find ourselves longing for the latest model or being envious of others’ possessions. Similarly, the time we spend with loved ones should be cherished, yet the influence of social media can lead to a desire for glamorous experiences seen online rather than authentic connections with those around us. This perpetual cycle of comparison and longing can hinder our ability to find contentment and appreciation for the present moment. It’s important to reflect on these tendencies and strive to refocus on gratitude and genuine human connections, valuing what we have rather than constantly seeking for something external to fulfill us.

Again, having better things to have a comfortable life for ourselves and our loved ones is not wrong. Go for it. But, be conscious and see where your life is now. First, be thankful. And second, know what is enough for you. If these two are not established, prepare for a very miserable life.

Again, having better things to have a comfortable life for ourselves and our loved ones is not wrong. Go for it. But, be conscious and see where your life is now. First, be thankful. And second, know what is enough for you. If these two are not established, prepare for a very miserable life.

Understanding the balance between striving for a better life and appreciating what we already have is crucial. It’s natural to want comfort and security for ourselves and our loved ones. However, it’s equally important to remain conscious of our current circumstances and express gratitude for the blessings in our lives. Achieving a sense of contentment and sufficiency is key to avoiding a sense of perpetual dissatisfaction. Without this foundation, the pursuit of material wealth and success can lead to a perpetual sense of longing and discontentment.

April 7, 2023
Choosing business over people

Choosing business over people may sound like a bad thing. However, it is the reality. Businesses exist to earn money. And most companies will result to drastic measures to ensure profits are there, even if it means letting go of people.

Of course, the business comes first. In all honesty, if the business is not profitable, there would not be jobs. But, when staff reduction happens, more work is given to the few left. Have we considered its impact on their mental health?

Truth be told. We all know this. Businesses exist to make money. Whatever the “whys” or “vision statements” there are that business owners say, it is all about money. Why even venture into something that will take up too much time and effort if it is not about it. Right?

It’s an undeniable fact that the primary goal of businesses is to generate revenue. While entrepreneurs may articulate lofty mission statements and aspirations, the underlying driving force is financial gain. It’s rational to question the rationale behind investing significant time and resources if not for the pursuit of monetary success. The bottom line is a critical factor in the existence and sustainability of any enterprise, shaping decisions and strategies at every turn.

Businesses exist because of money. We join any company because we want to get paid. It is not because we believe in the company’s mission and vision. We needed the job. We need to work. We need to get paid. We need the money.

Understanding the relationship between businesses and individuals is crucial in today’s world. Indeed, the financial aspect is a significant driving force behind why individuals seek employment. While monetary compensation is a key factor in job decisions, it’s essential to acknowledge that other elements also play a role. Factors such as job satisfaction, personal fulfillment, opportunities for growth, and alignment with the company’s values and vision also contribute to the overall work experience. By considering these additional aspects, individuals can strive for a more comprehensive and rewarding employment journey, where financial stability harmonizes with personal and professional growth.

And as much as we want to believe that the business takes care of its people first, money will always become a priority when push comes to shove. When bad situations are rising endangering the existence of the business, aside from reducing other costs, it is the labor force that will really feel the impact.

In times of economic hardship or organizational restructuring, employees often bear the brunt of the burden. This can lead to heightened stress, decreased job satisfaction, and even implications for their physical and mental well-being. It’s essential for businesses to navigate challenging times with empathy and a focus on finding equitable solutions that prioritize the welfare of their employees, who are integral to the success and sustainability of the enterprise.

Now, how much effort you put into your work, become recognized, climb the corporate ladder, and earn that covetous title, if profits are down, none of those will matter. You are still at risk of losing that job.

It’s undeniable that the value of hard work, recognition, career advancement, and achieving coveted professional titles is significant in the pursuit of a successful and fulfilling career. However, it’s crucial to acknowledge that in the dynamic and competitive landscape of the professional world, the performance and financial stability of the organization hold immense importance. Despite an individual’s dedication and accomplishments, when a company’s profits decline, it can lead to challenging circumstances, including the potential risk of job insecurity.

The impact of economic downturns, unexpected market shifts, or internal financial challenges within an organization can overshadow individual achievements and hard work. This situation can result in increased vulnerability to potential layoffs, restructurings, or other workforce adjustments, regardless of an employee’s efforts and contributions to the company’s success. Therefore, it’s essential for professionals to not only focus on personal career development but also remain cognizant of the broader economic and organizational factors that can influence the stability of their employment.

Navigating through such circumstances requires a multifaceted approach, which may involve proactive measures such as enhancing professional skills, diversifying expertise, fostering strong internal and external relationships, and staying informed about industry trends. Additionally, maintaining a flexible and adaptable mindset can be pivotal in responding to fluctuating organizational dynamics while safeguarding one’s professional standing.

Staff reduction impacts a lot of things. The first obvious one is workload. Those who will be considered to stay will do as much as twice as before for the same pay as before. Morale gets impacted especially for those who feel they could be next. Mental health gets affected as stress, pressure, longer hours, and lack of sleep gets you just to make sure the business survive this turbulent times.

A lot of people have told me that moving from one company to another is all about the money. Well, that can not be farther from the truth. Again, we join companies because we need to get paid for the work. Other stuff like company brand names, we know people, we believe in what they do, etc, are just additional reasons we tell ourselves to justify the move and not to come off to other people as someone who is just after the money.

When considering a job change, it’s important to take into account various factors that contribute to overall job satisfaction and fulfillment. While financial compensation is undoubtedly a significant aspect of any job, it’s not the sole driving force behind professional decisions. As individuals, we seek opportunities that align with our values, allow us to grow personally and professionally, and provide a sense of purpose.

Company culture, the potential for career advancement, the opportunity to work on meaningful projects, and a supportive work environment are all factors that can weigh heavily in the decision to transition from one company to another. These elements contribute to a fulfilling work experience and can significantly impact overall job satisfaction. It’s important to acknowledge and prioritize these aspects alongside financial considerations when evaluating potential career moves.

So, if businesses prioritize money and people are there for money, what can we do?

First, do not get attached to the business name/brand. Second, save and invest. Third, accept that the world works as it is. Can change but I don’t know as to what.

At the end of the day, no matter what inspirational words you read, or what motivating vision you see, or even promises of a great career track, when profits are not met, the business will always take action to get more money.

March 31, 2023
When you realize your “NO” is powerful

Have you tried saying NO to things that life throws at you that you do not like? Or are you still saying YES because you have no choice?

When I started working for a call center, I had no idea what I was getting into. All I know is that I have to get a job because I have a family to support. It was almost a year from my graduation rites and I was still looking for work.

So, just armed with knowing how to speak English and the knowledge that I’ll be talking to customers, I took my chances in one of the pioneers of call centers in the Philippines.

As I stepped into the call center, the buzzing atmosphere and the constant sound of ringing phones were overwhelming. Despite the initial challenges and the uncertainty of what lay ahead, I was determined to give my best. Gradually, I became more adept at handling customer inquiries, resolving issues, and developing my communication skills. The experience taught me resilience and the value of perseverance during tough times. I realized that this job not only provided for my family but also helped me grow both personally and professionally. Each day brought new experiences and opportunities for growth, and I am grateful for the lessons I learned during my time at the call center.

And from then on, I had progressed my career from an agent to becoming a workforce management professional who, for those who do not know, is the one who determines how many people do we need to hire, keep, and/or let go. As a workforce management professional, I have been responsible for forecasting staffing needs, creating schedules, monitoring attendance, and adjusting staffing levels as necessary to meet service level and budget targets. This role requires a deep understanding of the business’s operations, the ability to analyze data and workforce trends, and the skill to make strategic decisions that impact the organization’s performance and the employees’ well-being. It’s a challenging yet rewarding position that plays a crucial role in the success of an organization.

As of this moment, my entire career is all about saying YES. Following what my supervisor told me. Doing things that the manager was asking me to. Acting differently to manage the perception of others. And so on.

Eventually, this created a very stressful situation for me. Listening to what other people say and changing. Doing things to their liking. Being the person people expect you to be. These are just some that took a toll in me.

It’s unfortunate when we find ourselves in situations where we feel compelled to constantly say yes and conform to the expectations of others. This pattern can be draining and may lead to feelings of disconnection from our true desires and ambitions. It’s essential to find a way to assert our own needs and aspirations while maintaining professionalism and cooperation in the workplace.

One approach is to practice assertiveness, which involves expressing our thoughts and needs in a direct and respectful manner. By communicating openly with supervisors and managers, it’s possible to establish boundaries and express our perspectives on tasks and projects. Additionally, seeking opportunities for personal and professional development can empower us to take control of our career path and pursue roles and tasks that align with our genuine interests and strengths. Remember, it’s not about always saying no, but about finding a balance that honors both our own ambitions and the needs of the organization.

Before you get those eyebrows crossed because of what you read and say that it is my fault for being such a person, I ask you first to look back on your career up to now and think of the times when you were the one in control of the work in accordance with what you want. I bet there are just very few and little moments or even, you can not remember anything at all.

https://www.andrewthorpking.com

Now, what I am trying to say here is the moment you say NO (well, not disrespectful to your boss) to things around you (not just work) and only say YES to things and everyone that matters to you, personally, you will have a more peaceful life enjoying doing things that you put value on.

The essence of learning to say “no” without being disrespectful and embracing the power of “yes” towards the things and people that truly matter in both personal and professional spheres is a fundamental principle of leading a more fulfilling and peaceful life. When you prioritize your commitments and responsibilities based on personal values and significance, you create a life characterized by genuine happiness and contentment. It allows you to invest your time and energy in endeavors that resonate with your beliefs and aspirations, fostering a sense of purpose and fulfillment. This approach enables you to savor every moment and activity, knowing that they align with your authentic desires and contribute positively to your overall well-being.

There comes a point in our lives that we all have to make a realization of what is important for us. What are the things we consider that will bring impact to our lives and to those people around us are the things we value. Thus, when we get to this point, we can honestly say NO to things that we do not care about and only say YES to everything we want. This transition signifies a moment of clarity, a shift in perspective that allows us to discern between the essential and the superfluous. It’s the moment when we realize the power we hold to prioritize our own happiness and well-being, as well as the positive influence we can have on the lives of others. Saying NO to the unnecessary enables us to focus our energy on endeavors that truly resonate with our aspirations and values, empowering us to wholeheartedly embrace the opportunities and experiences that align with our authentic desires. By consciously choosing to prioritize our passions and the things that truly matter, we shape a life that is rich in meaning and fulfillment, resonating authenticity and purpose in every aspect. This intentional approach to decision-making becomes a catalyst for personal growth and genuine connections, fostering a sense of contentment and empowerment that permeates every facet of our being.

Let me rephrase it a little. It is saying NO to those that you think will not bring you closer to your goals and only saying yes to those that will. We are still all different so my NOs will be different from your NOs.

March 24, 2023
Your story is your legacy

Our legacy is from our story. The actions we took. The impact we made. What we leave behind is what happens to those who we have impacted the most.

When you are gone, what do you want people to say about you? What are you living behind? How do you want to live your life before you die?

In your every waking hour, in your ever-busy life, are you aware of the impact it will have on other people? Will whoever you are now be remembered by at least the people around you? Are you living a life to your own selfish desires or towards the betterment of humankind as a society?

In every waking hour and amidst the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it’s crucial to pause and reflect on the impact our actions will have on those around us. Will our presence be remembered positively by the people in our immediate circles? Will our legacy be one of self-centered pursuits, or will it be marked by contributions toward the advancement and well-being of society as a whole? These questions compel us to consider the greater purpose of our existence and the mark we leave on the world. Taking a moment to evaluate the direction of our lives can lead to a deeper understanding of our roles within the broader tapestry of humanity, motivating us to strive for a legacy that transcends mere self-serving desires.

Take a step back and review what happened to your day yesterday. For us who are working for a company, our typical day would be to get up, grab a coffee, scroll through social media, play some mobile games, get a shower, watch TV, go to work, eat lunch or dinner, end our day, and sleep The following day we repeat it.

The daily routine for many working individuals often involves a sequence of familiar activities that provide comfort and structure. It begins with waking up and indulging in a cup of freshly brewed coffee, which serves as a catalyst for the day ahead. This may be followed by a leisurely scroll through social media, offering a glimpse into the lives of friends, family, and perhaps, one’s favorite celebrities. The routine may then transition to a casual session of mobile gaming, providing a brief escape from the demands of the day. After these moments of relaxation, it’s time to freshen up with a rejuvenating shower, preparing for the day either at work or at home.

At work, the day unfolds with various tasks, meetings, and interactions, interspersed with the much-anticipated lunch break or, for those working into the evening, a satisfying dinner. These meals serve as a pause, allowing individuals to recharge and refuel for the remaining hours of their workday. Finally, as the day draws to a close, there might be time to unwind in front of the TV, catch up on favorite shows, or wind down with a movie.

Reflecting on this perpetual cycle of activities, it becomes apparent that each day carries its own blend of familiarity and unique moments, providing the opportunity to find joy, fulfillment, and recharge before embarking on the next day’s adventures.

Maybe once in a while, we go out with friends. Maybe during the weekends, we go out with our families. Maybe sometime in the year, we take a vacation. Maybe some other days, we go to some events like concerts, food halls, or anything else. Or maybe attend some grand family events like weddings, birthdays, funerals, etc.

If we take a step back, get to higher ground, and look at our lives from a bird’s eye view, what do we realize have we done with our lives? Do we think it is something worth remembering? Have we made a significant impact on the lives of others? What are we leaving to the world and generations to come?

These introspective questions prod us to reflect on the legacy we are creating with our existence. Often, the hustle and bustle of daily life obstructs our ability to pause and ponder the broader implications of our actions. However, a moment of contemplation can unravel profound insights. As we review the mosaic of our journey, we unearth the footprints we’ve etched into the tapestry of time. Each act of kindness, every endeavor, and the relationships we nurture contribute to the narrative of our lives.

The weight of our actions is not solely determined by their scale, but rather by the sincerity and impact they carry. Whether we have touched lives through simple gestures of compassion or through grand initiatives, the significance lies in the genuineness of our intentions. An empathetic ear, a helping hand extended in times of need, or a heartfelt word of encouragement can reverberate through the lives of others, creating a ripple effect that transcends generations.

Considering what we impart to the world, the question arises: what inheritance are we bequeathing to posterity? Our actions, values, and the wisdom we impart to future generations lay the foundation for the world that will greet them. Thus, in our quest to craft a meaningful existence, we are not merely sculpting our own story, but also shaping the narrative of the world to come. It is within these reflections that we find the impetus to infuse our lives with purpose and altruism, striving to leave behind a legacy that enriches the tapestry of humanity.”

My mother-in-law passed away a year ago. And hearing stories about her from her sisters, she seemed to live a life like of a superhero. She saved them from every unfortunate event that happened to them. And she continued to do that with her children. She did everything she could to give them a fighting chance in life. While she succumbed to her sickness and was not able to do much for her grandchildren, her legacy to us was that.

She was suffering and made it known at the end, but before that, her pain was not known to anyone. She kept going until she really couldn’t anymore. Until her powers ran out and the only thing she left was the memory that even if a person has taken a bad road, she will still extend help as much as she can, even if it meant pain.

So for us still living now, what could we consider a legacy? I haven’t figured it out myself but I think, for now, I would follow in some of her footsteps – help others to stand and fight on their own and live their lives as they want to. Maybe make a superhero of everyone.

The idea of leaving a legacy is a profound contemplation for anyone still living. What constitutes a legacy may vary from person to person, but for some, it involves following in the footsteps of those who have come before us, particularly those who have exhibited qualities of empowerment and compassion. In this context, it can be about empowering others to stand on their own and pursue their aspirations freely. It’s about fostering a sense of autonomy and self-determination, essentially transforming everyday individuals into their own kind of superheroes. This can manifest in various forms, from mentorship and support to activism and advocacy, ultimately striving to create a world where everyone has the opportunity to thrive as their authentic selves.

In the end, superheroes die. But their death meant the worst is over. The villain is gone. Those who are left are to battle their own villain. And emulating her superhero act, I think it would be very helpful to leave a legacy of people who can be superheroes too.

March 10, 2023
Grateful or Hateful | Being Envy Of Others

Grateful or hateful. Are we thankful for our lives or do we always wish for something better? When we pray, do we ask for something else or do we give appreciation for what we have?

Nothing wrong with aiming for something better. Our lives should always progress. If we do not then we would not be holding this phone in our hands or even talking to people very far from us.

We could be living like animals living each day in the vast land where we are just thinking of the next food to eat. Or battling for survival daily and killing anyone who threatens our way of survival.

Not going far back to the past, without the house we are in, the food we have, our jobs, the money that we use to sustain our lifestyle, and the family and friends that support us even if now and then we get into a disagreement with them, our lives would be impossible to traverse without anything.

And most of the time we forget this wishing things would get better. Again, nothing wrong with that. However, when we always focus on having more and having something else, we tend to forget that what we have is what we need and take it for granted. Instead of being grateful, we resent what we have hoping and wishing and praying that we have something else.

Before we start asking for different things to come our way, we should appreciate what we have. We should at least say our prayers giving thanks to whoever higher power we believe in every day for everything that we have in our lives. And even if we do not believe, it is also what the Law Of Attraction says. Or even without those two, just merely saying thanks every day for all of it will make us realize that what we have is what we need and anything that comes our way is an enabler for us to do more.

Most of the time we wish for something else. I hope we all find in our hearts to always be thankful and show appreciation by taking care of the blessings we have whether it is material things or the people around us as we are a product of the combination of our situations and our innate self.

For just today, think of the things you have and be thankful for them. Instead of complaining, instead of focusing on what should be, focus on what is real and just be grateful. Looking at what others have may help in motivating us to do better however, if we just wallow in it and forget that we are blessed with what we have, we disregard everything that has given to us. If we become grateful for what has been given to us, we remove our focus on things we do not like and shift our attention to the things that matter and get more of it.

In effect, by being thankful, we get more of what we need. We get better gradually. We get to help others in return for what we have been given.

Gratitude | The Key to Abundance and Fulfillment

Before we embark on the journey of asking for different things to come our way, it is of utmost importance that we first appreciate what we already have. This is a fundamental principle that we often overlook in our pursuit of more. The beauty of life lies in the simple act of gratitude. It is in acknowledging the blessings we have, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem, that we truly begin to understand the value of what we possess.

Every day, we should take a moment to say our prayers, giving thanks to the higher power we believe in. This could be God, the Universe, or any other entity that we feel connected to. This act of gratitude should not be limited to the big things in our lives but should extend to everything that we have. From the air we breathe to the food we eat, to the love we receive – every aspect of our lives deserves recognition and appreciation.

Even if we do not subscribe to any particular belief system, the Law Of Attraction, a popular philosophical concept, echoes this sentiment. It suggests that our thoughts and feelings shape our reality. Therefore, by expressing gratitude, we are essentially attracting more positivity and abundance into our lives. This is not just a spiritual or philosophical idea, but a practical one that can lead to a more fulfilling and content life.

However, even without the context of religion or the Law Of Attraction, the act of saying thanks every day has its own merits. It instills in us a sense of contentment and satisfaction. It makes us realize that what we have is not just enough, but exactly what we need at this point in our lives. It shifts our focus from what we lack, to what we possess, thereby promoting a positive outlook towards life.

Moreover, anything additional that comes our way should be viewed as an enabler, a tool that allows us to do more, to be more. These could be opportunities, resources, or even challenges. Instead of viewing them as burdens or obstacles, we should see them as stepping stones that can propel us toward growth and development.

In conclusion, gratitude is not just an act, but a lifestyle. It is a conscious choice that we make every day, to appreciate what we have and to stay open to the possibilities of what could be. It is the key to a happier, more fulfilled life. So, let us make a promise to ourselves, to say thanks every day, to appreciate the present, and to welcome the future with open arms. Because in the end, what we have is what we need, and anything that comes our way is an enabler for us to do more, to be more. Let us embrace this truth and let it guide us in our journey through life.

December 12, 2022